Children And Self-Confidence 

Children who have good self-confidence trust their abilities, accept and value themselves and others. They are proud of their achievements. These children know they can make mistakes and have the courage to try again. They know they are worthy of respect and friendship, and they understand their own strengths and weaknesses

On the other hand, children with low self-confidence will allow others to treat them poorly. These children give up more easily and will feel unsure about their abilities. As a result they simply may not even try something.

Parenting is all about helping our child become self-confident, independent, resilient adults. It is of course our job to protect them too. But as they grow we need to provide opportunities to develop, learn and grown healthy skills they can take with them into adulthood. So how do we help them develop confidence?

How Self-Confidence Develops In Children?

We know that self-confidence starts in infancy and develops slowly over time. This happens because a child feels safe, loved and accepted. It develops when a child gains their parent’s positive attention, care, hears positive self-talk, and sees good self-care modeled by the parent.

These children hear praise and know their parents are proud of them. They will receive positive discipline and are allowed to make mistakes. The child is also encouraged to try hobbies and new things, interests and help at home. When they build their self-confidence they will feel capable and grown into independent adults.

It isn’t easy to build self-confidence in another if you are not feeling self-confident yourself. But all is not lost we can still help our child while also working on our self. You can find some tips on building self-confidence in adults here.

Remember self-confidence is something we can rebuild at any time. We all take knocks over the years so don’t feel all is lost. If you feel you need help with this then please reach out. A therapist can very quickly help you to turn things around.

So what are four ways you can help you child build their self-confidence?

4 Tips To Build Self-Confidence.

1 Make Sure They Know You Love Them Unconditionally.

This includes setting realistic expectations for your child. Accepting your child as they are and giving them your undivided attention.

1. Letting your child know you love them unconditionally is the most important thing you can ever do. No matter what happens and no matter what the mistake. They need to know you are there for them and will love them. This helps them build their self acceptance, self-love and is a strong foundation in their self-confidence.
2. Offer praise frequently making sure it is specific and not just given for reaching high achievements. And don’t forget indirect praise by letting friends, family and teacher know how proud you are of your child. They will hear about this and it will boost their self-esteem as a result.
3. Make time for your child, so you can give them your undivided attention. Family life can be so busy but your child will benefit from each amount of time you spend with them. When children feel their parents notice them it will develop self-belief and is a strong foundational aspect of self-confidence. You can build this into family routines, such as: stories before bed, attending games, showing interests in their hobbies or interests. Look at your family routines and see when you can give some extra attention. Even for a few minutes.

2 Allow Your Child To Make Mistakes And Take Risks.

1. Accept your child for who they are. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We are not perfect and no one else is either. We are human and that means we make mistakes. What distinguishes a self-confident child from another one is that they are capable of learning from their mistakes and are willing to try again after they make mistakes. We can choose the road of punishing them for those mistakes. Or another path that is far better. That of allowing them to experience the consequences of their choices. Then encouraging them to have another go with the new knowledge they now have. Thus build their self-confidence and resilience along the way.
2. Yes as a parent we want to protect our child, but we need to learn to step back too. We can of course take into account our child’s age and all the risks involved. But we need to encourage them to start solving problems, take responsibilities for the consequences and to make age appropriate choices. This will empower them and lead to greater self-confidence.
3. We need to supervise from the sidelines and set up situations that will encourage them to try new things without fearing failure. Demonstrating the basic skills they need in the home for them and then allowing them to try them for themselves is one such starting point. Encourage exploration with trips, the park, new foods, hobbies will all expand your child’s views, experiences and build their self-confidence in handling new situations and people.

In other words treat mistakes as learning opportunities. Making mistakes is part of what makes us human. Almost all of the really significant advancements in science, technology, and medicine are based on experiments involving trial and error.

3 Get Their Help Around The Home.

1. We need opportunities to learn new skills and to feel our contributions are valuable and needed. Children are no different. Children need to learn how to look after themselves too. We are being disrespectful and showing them very bad habits if we are the only ones allowed to take care of the home. We have to let children have a go at being responsible. Yes they will mess up but they will learn with your guidance too.
2. Provide them with small jobs so they can get an opportunity to learn new skills and feel valued for their contributions. Chores can start from about 2, but you can judge best for your child, and should increase in difficulty as they grow. Some household chores that they could try:

• Setting the table.
• Tidying up their toys and rooms.
• Dusting, sweeping and hovering.
• Doing the dishes, loading and emptying the dishwasher.
• Sorting or folding laundry, putting away their own clothes.
• Washing the car.
• Gardening or other D.I.Y. projects as they get older.

3. Consider incorporating your child’s interests and strengths into the chores. So if they are good at organizing then allow them to use this skill in the home with their chores. They will feel pride and a sense of accomplishment when they receive your thanks and praise for completing the job. It also shows them what it takes to look after a home and learn that sometimes we have to put work before play.

4 Encourage Them To Pursue Their Hobbies And Interests.

This also includes taking some downtime and playtime. Encourage them to take on tasks they show an interest in. These can include physical activities, passions, and taking some time downtime, plus having fun with others.

1. Physical activities not only help them with their physical and mental health, but can help them learn to achieve goals, accept their strengths and weaknesses, handle defeat, expand their circle of friends and learn how to be part of a team. All the while they are building their self-confidence.
2. Passions, particularly in teens, allows them to explore what they could excel at and to discover new things and people. Praise their efforts and achievements. But make sure they know they have to balance their passions with their responsibilities too.
3. Taking some time out is great and a vital component of life for everyone. Show your child how to meditate, read or listen to music, and entertain themselves. Let them know it’s okay to take some time out by modeling this behaviour yourself in a healthy manner.
4. Playtime with family, and friends, is one of the best investments you can make with, and for, your child. The hours they, and you, spend playing will show them how much you value them. Make sure you give them your undivided attention during this time. Show them how to use their imagination and take your time to listen to what they are saying.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.