Learning to speak up and ask for what you want without using aggression or becoming a victim is hard for some people.

For most people, we were taught and learnt as children, not to speak until spoken to or be seen and not heard. This taught us to hide what we wanted, that our opinions were not valid nor was our authentic self good enough. We had to perform only when requested and became people pleaser's as a result. We lost our voice.

We, now as an adult, have to learn to ask for what we want. We need to learn how to use our "I" statements and express ourselves in an assertive manner instead of blaming the other person for failing to meet our needs - perhaps they failed to get the mind reading gene when they were born?

Remember its okay to ask for what you need and want, but ask yourself also: can I meet these needs myself first, can I deal with a No in response to my question and is this person truly capable of giving and meeting that need?