Those early morning battles to get everyone out the door on time I remember them well. I still cringe as the memories come up. Five children, and at one stage four different schools to get to, seemed like an impossible task. Even now with some adults in the family, that I know will be late, I will give them an earlier starting time. But it really is just a short few years and if anything please keep that in mind.

Shouting won’t get you anywhere except more stressed out. Nagging and yelling have been shown to just backfire on us. An already tired or cranky child won’t move any quicker if we are shouting at them. Instead we are better calming ourselves and focusing on what they are doing well. So what could help make those mornings a little bit easier?

Figure Out Your Child And Their Sleep Needs First.

Before I get into the tips themselves it is worth mentioning a few things you need to consider.

Is your child a night owl or lark?

Just like adults children are night owls and larks. Have a look at their habits and disposition to see who they are. So if you know your child is a night owl allowing them more time to wake up could be a huge help. So try to build a little extra time into their morning routine.

Is your child getting enough sleep?

Remember children and teens need more sleep than adults. Try to make sure they have at least 10 hours sleep time. Distractions from other sibling’s rooms, going to bed late, device time too close to bed-time, diet, exercise, and an environment that is not sleep inducing, can affect a child’s ability to sleep.

Other factors can play a part also towards a lack of sleep. These can include SAD, depression, anxiety, disabilities, stress, etc. It is important that if you suspect something then please have your child’s doctor check them out.

Remember a lack of sleep can quickly become a cycle you don’t want to enter. It can have huge implications for our mental and physical health as well as academic and work performance. So the quicker it is tackled the better.

Look beyond the problem morning times.

Remember if you are investigating what is going on look at their whole day. Don’t just focus in on the morning problems. What happens during the day can impact their ability to get a good night’s sleep and get up refreshed in the morning.

The mind and body love routine. So having set meal times and limiting devices before bed will help. Yes it can be a battle in particular with teens to reduce this. Their hands seem to be permanently attached to their devices. But talk to them.

They need to understand the consequences if they don’t stick to responsible usage. Explain the facts about a lack of sleep for their mental and physical health to them. Get them on board to set up the house rules on this.

You can explain that if you can’t trust them to stop using them at a reasonable time then they have to lose the device.  But you have to stick to your guns and remove the device, and your own too, if you fail to stick to the plan also.

Another problem area can be over scheduling the child’s time.  Children need some down time where they can just do nothing if they want. It’s so important for their mental and physical health also. Being so busy you don’t have time to relax is so exhausting and will only lead to burnout. So make sure the child has time for play, fun and rest as well as school and other activities.

Once you have investigated the above you can move on to the tips below. The above will help to improve your child’s sleep quality and hopefully have a easier morning routine.

Tip 1 Have A Bedtime Routine, Even For Yourself.

A bedtime routine isn’t just for the little ones. We tend to think of bedtime routines as only for babies and toddlers but we all need them. Evening or bedtime routines are invaluable at helping make our morning routine that bit easier also. Remember this bedtime routine needs to be consistent throughout the entire week and weekend to be effective. So even on weekends go to bed roughly within one hour of the same time as the week nights.

So if you want an easier and smoother morning start the evening before. I’m not going to reiterate that limiting device time for an hour before bed will aid your child, and your, sleep. So do try to incorporate that into your bedtime routine.

Plus make sure you are all getting enough sleep. Yes I’m repeating this here as it’s that important. It’s so much harder for you to cope with tantrums, not just from the little ones either, in the morning if you haven’t slept well.  If you need more convincing I’ve outlined more information in my blog for adults.

What else can you include that would make life in the morning a little smoother?

Make sure to prepare things the night before.

Get as much prepared the night before that you can. Try to make these into automatic habits.

So if they are going to school then put those bags into the car as soon as homework is finished. The same goes for your bag, make sure to pack it up and place it by the door ready for the morning. Any other bags need for that day such as sports, art, home economics, etc., all into the car the night before.

Get everyone’s clothes laid out also. So make sure they know what they want to wear. Lay it out, even get out underwear and socks and peg it to the clothes. Make the lunches. Lay the table for breakfast, etc. Getting as much done as you can will save you time in the morning and cut down on arguments.

Assign a space near the front door if that is where you exit the house in the morning. Make sure if you cannot get things into the car then each person has a place to gather their things. You will need to have some organization sorted here such as coat hooks and boxes for each person.

Don’t forget to assign a place for your things also, keys, wallet, purse, phone, etc. There’s nothing worse than spending precious time looking for your keys.

Tip 2 Have A Simplified Morning Routine For Everyone.

So tip number two. Routines aren’t just for bedtime. Mornings and anytime of the day could do with them too. So some questions you could explore here before we go.

1. Do your children already have a morning routine that is working? I’d guess not if you are reading this. So what could you do to help them establish a better morning routine?
2. Is there something you are trying to cram into the morning that could be done the night before?
3. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you allowing yourself enough time to wake up in the morning? I know personally I need to set my alarm clock for a little earlier than I need to get out of bed.

Remember there are no right or wrong answers to any of this. We are all doing the best we can and no one routine will suit everyone. You may need to adjust and tweak it to suit your family.

Have a morning routine even on weekends.

Having a morning routine is important to us because we want to get everyone out to school, work, etc., on time. But do the children understand this? Have you explained this to them? Can you remember how hard it was for you to understand and learn what needed to be done in the morning?

Remember that routines are just habits. These habits that have taken us years to learn and some of us aren’t that good at it still. Kids need that same time and guidance on how to create these habits. Plan it out with them exactly and age appropriately. But keep that list as simple as possible even for older children and teens.

You might also have to let go of some things on the list or move them to be part of the evening routine instead. There’s a lot to do first thing in the morning if you think about it. Take a shower, dress, make the bed, and pack lunch, bags, brush teeth, put on shoes and coat. If any of these things can be moved to later then do so. It will take the pressure off you and the child.

We need to realize that children need our help to move through the routines. Some of what is on the to do list is second nature to us. We can take that for granted at time and expect too much even from teens. If your child is having a hard time putting together an efficient morning routine then they need your guidance and your executive functioning.

Teens and children’s brains are not fully developed. They need our ability to help them fully process what needs to be done. Try to make the morning routine one that is full of connections. Start the day with an “I love you” and guide them through the routine. The older the child is the less you should have to do. But again keep the routine as simple as possible and get them on board. Make it part of the house rules and consequences if they are late for school.

Build in extra time.

Think about giving yourself some extra time in the morning. It will be more likely to happen the older your child gets. But do try to get up about 30 minutes before you call them.

Allow yourself time to have a shower and get dressed before the rush begins. So while they are getting dressed you can have a cup of tea/coffee. If you have already prepared things the night before it will give you some time to play with. It’ll make things a little bit more relaxed for you.

Build in extra time for the night owls also. It is harder for them to just jump out of bed so get an older child to set their alarm a bit earlier if they are night owls. Get them to have a second alarm go off away from the bed so that they have to get out of bed to turn it off.

You can also incorporate a when-then routine. If you can identify something your child likes about mornings then give them that if they have all the things they dislike done first. This can range from a breakfast they like, playtime on gaming machine, TV, etc. But they only get these if they are completely ready to leave the house.

Try to get up at the same time at the weekends.

Getting up at the same time every day is important to our sleep. But you could make the weekends a bit more special. So a more leisurely breakfast time could be on the cards. Or why not try to arrange some nice day trips. Get everyone on board with the planning.

Let natural consequences take place.

Natural consequence may not work for you in this instance. If your child needs a lift to school and other children are also going to be late as result. Then it isn’t fair that they should suffer because of the one child.

But it could be the case that you are in a position to allow natural consequences take place. Being late for school brings with it a trip to the principal’s office and perhaps detention. Missing breakfast, not having the correct sports gear, etc. These can be some of the consequences of being late.

You can also incorporate being late into the house rules if you cannot allow natural consequences to take place. As I’ve said before older children and teens should be involved in making house rules. They can come up with some consequences that are more personal to them thus making the consequence more fitting.

Getting into a new routine can be stressful at the start. But with a little effort it will work. Remember you are creating new habits for everyone here and that takes patience. It may be easier to introduce some of them during holidays. Or try to get the evening routine going before the morning one. Whatever you do don’t try to do it all at once this will only backfire. Try one small change at a time and go from there.

Reach Out For Support.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. In fact I would strongly advice you make sure you create a positive support system before you start to make any changes in your life. One part of that positive support system is working a therapist. Please reach out to a local therapist if you need to.

My Workbooks

I offer a variety of tips and discuss a range of topics in my workbooks The Building Blocks Of Self-Care, Moving Towards Self-forgiveness, The Little Book Of Reflection And Gratitude and Building Acceptance Into Your Life. You can purchase them on Amazon or here