Children use technology from an ever-increasing young age. Most will use devices well before they turn 4. 

More often than not, they will have their lives documented in pictures from birth. Never before has there been such a need for parents to keep kids safe online.

Keeping your family safe online is an ever-increasing worry and battle for parents as technology updates quicker than a parent can keep up-to-date.

As a grandmother I know how much I worry about my grandchildren and even my adult children. But how can you police your children’s every move online? Yet also give them the freedom to keep up with friends and family. But also still keep them safe?

Advice and Tips for Parents

1 Start the conversation as soon as possible about being safe online.

Start the conversation now or as early in your child’s life as you can. Make it age appropriate. Don’t wait until there is a problem.

The important thing is that it becomes a normal part of life. So make sure you are talking with your children about what they are doing online, i.e. what is fun, what can go wrong and how they would cope with it.

Keep this as part of your “let’s talk about everyday stuff that happens in real life”. Know what apps they like and who their friends are. Younger children (before teens) usually only talk online with other children they know in real life.

Older children and teens are more likely to meet other teens online from anywhere in the world. Just keep yourself informed and talk online safety with them.

2 Keep the lines of communication open.

Let them know you’re there for them all the time so they can talk when they need to later on. Talk to them about what is okay and not okay to do online.

3 Encourage them to only talk to friends they know offline.

Make sure you know who these friends are also and encourage them to bring them home so you can meet them.

4 Get them to show you how to do something online.

Kids love being smarter than grown-ups. This will also give you some insight in to what they like to do online and what apps they are using.

If you do decide to allow your child to use a particular app or game, then make sure that you get involved. You could agree that you download and set it up together, making the most of any privacy settings etc.

5 N.B Always research the app, device or game first before letting your child use it.

Most have settings that allow you to restrict access and advice on safety.

6 House rules should include what can and what cannot happen online.

Always agree to basic ground rules, e.g. not accepting friend requests from strangers and always keep an eye on what they are doing and saying online. Always be consistent with your house rules, so if a child lives in two homes the same house rules should apply in each house.

7 Make it clear they can always come to you if anything makes them upset or worried. 

8 Make a household policy regarding electronics.

This will be about things such as: What age phones, tablets, will be bought for your child. What age they can access certain apps. Will they be able to access your phone, tablet or laptop? They will probably know how to operate them better than you will.

Model good behaviour and explain why you won’t be accepting a friend request, etc. Children should always be supervised while using devices. Or a teen should have no problem allowing you to check or ask questions about who they are in contact with online.

9 Don’t have your phones and tablets at the dinner table or after a certain time.

Allow each other face to face time at dinner to catch up on everyone’s day. Make one night a week a family night or afternoon. This helps keep the lines of communication open and you get a chance to talk about things in a relaxed atmosphere rather than when there is a problem.

10 Talk to the parents of your children’s friends.

Let the other parents know what your rules are about online safety in your home. Ask what they are doing in their homes, talk about games and apps with them. If everyone of you is singing from the same hymn sheet (and you know it) then the kids can’t coerce you into something by telling you a friend is allowed to do x, y, or z.

11 Make sure you are the only one with the access codes to the broadband.

You put it on their devices, not them. Some will be able to figure a way around this but the longer they have to ask you the better.

12 Don’t be afraid to confiscate devices if need be.

Or to delete a social media account either. They should also be willing to accept you as a friend on their social media account. That one might be harder with over 15’s so negotiate. 

13 No clearing histories.

Make it rule that they are not allowed to clear their search histories. Most children won’t know how to do this for a while and some may never think to do so. 

14 No private passwords to apps, games or devices allowed. 

15 Regularly review all of their online activities and search their histories.

Don’t overreact if something comes up but talk with them about it not at them.

16 Same rules for online as offline.

So if they are not allowed to behave in a certain manner offline then they cannot do it online either. The same with certain types of behaviour, they need to realize that if you wouldn’t do it offline to someone then don’t post it online.

17 No phones or online stuff before homework is finished.

Except teens who may use tablets for homework. With phones you may need to work out a house rule specifically around homework and phones. Teens need to be in constant contact with friends but they also need to realize that homework comes first. 

18 Remember the internet never forgets!

Don’t freak them out but do warn them what they post could follow them for life.

19 Something to be aware of: Watch out for several accounts.

Yes, kids are going to be much more tech-savvy than most parents these days. So please watch for “extra” account setups. Again regular checking their online activity and seeing histories cleared should keep you in the know as to what is going on.

20 Lastly get a tech-savvy friend, or an expert, to show you the ropes.

Experts are great at keeping you up to date so find one and follow them online. One particular expert I can recommend is Wayne Denner His website link  and Facebook group for parents link.

If your child is a big tech or gamer enthusiast then maybe Coderdojo will be a good place for them to join. They will learn a lot about safety too. There are a lot of these groups which have been setup around the country and around the world.

Here is a link to some conversation starters on staying safe online. Cyber-safe online Ireland They also have some great links for different device controls for parents. Just click on the icons on each item on the page Parental controls

So what are parental controls?

Parental controls are software/ tools which you can install on phones/tablets/games consoles/ laptops/ your home broadband.

You can also use them to help you block/filter the content your child sees when searching online. And on family friendly public WiFi can help when you’re out and about.

They can also be helpful for you to:

• 1. plan what time of day your child can go online and how long for.
  2. stop them from downloading apps they’re too young for.
  3. manage the content different members of the family can see.

Make parental controls part of your household agreement especially with older kids/teens. Don’t just set them up and not expect an arguement. It is better to explain them to your children so they know what they do and WHY they are there.

There is nothing better than an adult telling a child they can’t do something and not explain why. It’s just an open invitation for them to break the rules. Remember start the conversation early and make sure you remind them often. That way they know it’s important to stay safe online no matter how old they get.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.