What is stress?

Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. It’s the body’s defense mechanism kicking in. When it works properly it can help us stay focused, alert and energetic and cope with emergencies.

So it will help you stay on your toes during a presentation or slam on the car brakes if needed. Stress is neither good or bad. One person’s level of stress may be okay for them but the same level in someone else can be too much. 

So if our stress levels have become too much we need to look at our overall ability, and/or coping mechanisms, to judge what we need to do to bring our stress levels back to manageable levels.

In order to do that, we need to understand how stress works in our bodies. Plus what’s causing our stress levels to rise and how can we reduce them effectively.

Flight, fight or freeze responses, what are they?

The body can react to a stressful situation in one of three ways. We can fight, get angry and lash out physically or verbally. We can take flight, run away. Or we can freeze, play dead.

It’s useful to know what that means for your body. But if you can also identify your typical response then you can change it for the better.

When we feel threatened, our nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones. These include adrenaline and cortisol, which rouse the body for emergency action. Our heart pounds faster, our muscles tighten, our blood pressure rises, our breath quickens and our senses become sharper.

These physical changes increase our strength and stamina, speed or our reaction time, and enhance our focus. They prepare us to either fight, freeze or flee from the danger at hand.

For today just ask yourself.

Which way do I normally react to stressful situations? Make a note in a journal of a few examples. Particularly ones that occur regularly and how you respond to them.

So what are the top 10 health problems caused by stress?

In no particular order:

1. Depression and anxiety
2. Pain of any kind
3. Sleep problems
4. Autoimmune diseases
5. Digestive problem
6. Skin conditions, such as eczema
7. Heart disease
8. Weight problems
9. Reproductive issues
10. Thinking and memory problems

If you are experiencing any of the above health problems I would urge you to see a doctor to get checked out.

What Causes Stress?

Situations and pressures in our lives can lead to a stressful time for many of us. That said many people view stress as being caused by only negative events such as divorce or marriage separation, relationship breakups, loss of a job or financial problems.

But many events we consider positive such as buying a home, getting married, going to college or receiving a promotion can also contribute to our stress levels rising.

Common external causes of stress.

• Major life changes
• Work or school
• Relationship difficulties
• Financial problems
• Being too busy
• Children and family

Not all stress factors are caused by external events, some are based on our own internal thoughts, perceptions and emotions.

Excessive worry, pessimism or irrational fears will also give rise to an increase in stress levels. Our own perception of events may, in fact, contribute to our stress levels.

For one person the same event may not even faze them but for another person, it may become intolerable. Even that morning commute to work may leave you feeling hassled, uneasy, anxious and tense but for others, that same commute can be seen as an opportunity to relax, enjoy some music or reading a book if not driving.

Common internal causes of stress

• Pessimism
• Inability to accept uncertainty
• Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility
• Negative self-talk
• Unrealistic expectations / perfectionism
• All-or-nothing attitude

Can you identify your stress areas?

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses.

(Use the common internal/external causes of stress above as a starting point)

1. Can you identify some of the factors that may be contributing to your stress levels rising at present? See question above also.
2. Are they external or internal or a combination of both? Make a note of them now.
3. Do you explain away stress as temporary? (Even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?)
4. Do you define stress as an integral part of your work/home life or as a part of your personality?
5. Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating, or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

Good Stress Reduction Techniques.

A number of areas in our lives connect to enable us to handle stress better. These include: exercise, connection to friends and family, rest, relaxation, diet and using our senses to build new positive, healthy habits. Try to look at including some of these, if not all, in your daily life.

Use a stress reduction journal to find you stressor points.

As we discussed above you need to identify your stressor. Can you eliminate these from your life? Is this to do with your job? Can you change jobs to reduce the stress? Have you taken on someone else’s to-do list or problems? Hand them back straight away, you are not doing them any favours by helping in this way.

It’s no harm to keep this journal afterwards to keep a daily or weekly check on your habits, lifestyle changes or if stress is starting to build again. 

Learn some form of meditation like mindfulness. 

Relaxation is a vital step in reducing stress levels and helping to maintain good stress relief. Techniques such as yoga, meditation and deep breathing can help greatly.

These can help you maintain a level of restfulness that is opposite to the flight, freeze or fight response levels. When we practice these techniques daily we greatly reduce our stress levels and boost our feelings of joy, serenity and help us remain calm and controlled under pressure. (The seven/eleven breathing technique or mindfulness (3parts) podcasts)

The 7/11 technique (you can use 4/6 either to start with) is a great technique to use as a 3 minute breather for quick stress relief. It can be used in many situations when you feel your anxiety, anger or other emotions rise that you need to calm down quickly.

Tip: Take yourself off to the loo in work and use this technique to calm down before a presentation or meeting.

Exercise and getting ourselves moving.

Taking up even something as simple as a walk at lunchtime can help. Better yet make it into a hobby or new interest. Exercise will help release the excess stress hormones from your body also and give you a better night’s sleep.

Making contact with others including family and friends. 

Again making contact face to face with family and friends can release hormones that relieve stress. But you must feel comfortable and safe when doing this. Negative vampires –people who bring you down and suck the life out of you – will never do that.

Even just a quick chat and a kind word can help. So spend time with people who make you feel good. Don’t allow your responsibilities to hold you back from making time for these kinds of relationships, they are too important.

Make it a priority to review your friendship list today. What kind of people do you spend the most time with? Can you eliminate negative vampires from your life? If not can you at least minimise contact with them?

Don’t you owe it to yourself to build good relationships with family and friends? Use your stress journal to check in on yourself about these questions and review all your relationships. (This review is also building boundaries in your life, very much needed for stress reduction.)

Using your senses as a means of stress relief and grounding yourself in reality.

 Engaging your senses –sight, sound, touch, taste and smell – is a fast way to relieve stress. The key is to find what works for you in a stressful situation. This may take time and practice to figure out but it is well worth it in the end.

So what might work for you? Some people find lighting a nice scented candle works, walking along the seashore or pier, listening to calming or uplifting music? Whatever it is, it is worth looking into.

Eating a healthy diet, cut down on alcohol.  

When we eat a diet full of processed and convenience food, refined carbohydrates, and sugary snacks we can worsen symptoms of stress.

Eating a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, high-quality protein, and healthy fats, especially omega-3 fatty acids, will start to help ourselves cope better with life’s ups, downs and daily pressures.

What does your diet look like? Are you resorting to sugary snacks to get you through the day? Do you need to check with your doctor about your diet?

It can be hard to change so much at once so why not just start small. Try an apple or banana instead of a chocolate bar. Have breakfast in the morning. We often skip this first important meal of the day when we’re stressed. We also tend to skip lunch too, you may be busy but you need to eat food and take a break to relax, talk to friends, etc. This will help with your productivity levels in the long run and reduce your stress levels.

Rest and sleep are equally important. 

Feeling tired can increase stress and increased stress can lead to disrupted sleep patterns.  In my book, The Building Blocks of Self-Care, sleep is the second chapter. I feel it is the most important factor after meditation in improving stress levels. I also discuss irrational thinking and other issues that can help you reduce your stress levels.

A simple thing to do is remove all TV’s and devices from your bedroom. Make your bedroom a no-go zone for any form of social media access also. Your bedroom should be a warm and inviting place where sleep is the main focus.

Time management is crucial. 

Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. It is hard to remain calm and focused when you tend to push all the healthy balance from your life.

But there are ways you can reduce stress by using good time management which should include:

1. Not over-committing yourself
2. Prioritising your tasks
3. Breaking projects into smaller pieces/steps
4. Delegate or ask for help. (If you’d like a business and personal diary to help you, you can download one here)

1. Over-committing ourselves. 

Always schedule time off first thing in your planner every week. Do not over schedule yourself or things back-to-back. Leave yourself time for lunch and overestimate how long something will take rather than underestimate it.

2.Prioritize your top 3 tasks daily, no more. 

Making a to-do list of tasks is great but if the list is endless you will start to feel pressurised and it’s unrealistic. You need to decide what and where your priorities lie each day, tackle these first and then move on to the next 3 items on your to-do list.

Please make sure you are not doing something for someone else who is quite capable of doing it themselves or whose job it is in the first place. Making a Not To Do List is just as important. (If you’d like to learn more about this please pick up a copy of my book The Building Blocks Of Self-Care or check out our free Review Your Priorities list)

3.Break your projects into small steps. 

A large project can seem overwhelming, but making a step-by-step plan will help you succeed. This goes back to the top 3 tasks for the day above, focus on one manageable step at a time rather than taking on everything at once and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

4. Delegating your responsibilities. 

Or are they others responsibilities? (Review Your Priorities List will help you achieve this) You should also ask yourself this question before you begin. You don’t have to do it all yourself, at home/school/work.

If you need to hire someone for a job then do it. Asking for help from colleagues is not a sin nor is it a sin to not control every aspect of your life/work. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them?

Let go of the desire to control everything in your life you’ll find better serenity that way and much less stress.

If you are finding stress too much you may also need therapy. Talking about your concerns can help eliminate stress from your life. We offer counselling to women. Please scheduele an appointment here.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.