Have you already set some New Year resolutions only you are not implementing them?

Well you’re not alone in doing this. It’s that time of year where we set New Year’s resolutions or go full steam ahead on setting goals. But for most of us these only end in failure and we get disheartened. It would be better if we can bring about a similar goal through smaller lifestyle changes than setting ourselves up for failure.

Small habits are one such way to bring about that lifestyle change. Habits, if small and manageable enough, plus some planning will enable you to achieve that bigger goal you keep failing at. For this to work you also need to be consistent and have some patience with yourself. It does take time to implement any new habit, up to ninety days, for it to become a permanent lifestyle change.

Those smaller actionable habits are something we can manage. These in turn will lead to that bigger goal you tried to set at New Year. So what are you waiting for? Do you want to be still setting those same goals this time next year or are you ready to make the change one small habit at a time? Let’s get stuck in.

12 Steps To A New Habit.

1 Get out your calendar/planner and pick a timeline.

You need to work in 12 week or 90 day blocks for each habit. You can start at any time and use a paper or online calendar.

2 Mark the timeline off in your calendar.

You now have your start and finish dates. These are very important, particularly the finish date. We always see the finish date as too far off and that we have plenty of time to finish whatever we choose to work on. In fact we really don’t have that much time at all to give over to our new habit. It’s one of the reasons we need to pick only one habit at a time to introduce to our lifestyle. This habit should be small enough to complete in approximately 10 to 15 minutes a day or even shorter.

3 Now create you why.

Your why will give you your metal boost to keep going. This is vital as your why will keep you motivated as well when you hit a motivational block, like the 3 day hump, etc. (I discuss this in more detail in my book The Building Blocks Of Self-Care).

What is your why? This new habit is not a one off event but rather a new piece to add to your lifestyle.

1. Why are you doing it?
2. Why do you want this new habit or change to exist?
3. Will this habit fit into your lifestyle?

We need to add habits that will start to create the life you desire. But if work against your values and beliefs (before you change them) you will probably sabotage yourself. So think about the areas of your life and why you want to change something in them before you start. You can use a wheel of life to help you with this exercise. For example you can look at the health area on the wheel of life and decide you want to improve it. You why could be to have more energy to deal with your kids.

4 Set your habit into small actionable steps.

Once you have your why you need to divide your new habit into manageable small actionable steps. You don’t want to burn yourself out too quickly. So small, slow, steady and consistent is best.

The smaller the better in fact, for example you simply cannot go from couch to a 5 km run in one week, it’s impossible. So perhaps your smaller steps could be a 10 minute walk 3 times a week and build up from there.

Sometimes we have to set the bar even lower to begin with. Using the example that might mean putting on your trainers and walking to the gate and back. But that is okay, start from where you are and keep going.

Other examples around different areas of your life could be:

Health: Take a vitamin supplement or swap one glass of water for each cup of tea or coffee you drink.

Mindset: Write everything down in your planner or complete a nightly brain dump in your journal (this will also help you sleep better by the way).

Career: Keep an achievement log, achievements aren’t something we are good at noticing or celebrating. Or take notes after every meeting, that way you are clear on what was said and agreed while it’s still fresh in your mind.

Finances: Set aside a percentage of your income each month for savings first. Build an emergency fund account.

Relationships: Plan in time to connect with positive supporters, we keep meaning to make that call but we forget to do it. Planning it into our calendar means it more likely to get done and helps us keep those positive friends close.

5 These small actionable steps have to be planned into your week.

Mark them off at a specific time on your calendar. Setting a reminder on your phone might also be a good idea.

6 Now add in your cues.

So when will you complete your new habit? Remember it needs to fit into your current lifestyle. What happens before your take your new action step will be your cue. For example, you decide you will go for your 10 minute walk at lunchtime every second day. So when lunchtime arrives that’s your cue for your walk.

7 Eliminate any distractions or trips.

What could trip you up and set you up to fail? If your new walking routine is to build a healthier lifestyle overall then perhaps walking by a sweet shop or cake shop, where you know you will be tempted to buy something is not a good walking route for you. You can eliminate this by changing your walking route.

 If your habit is to meditate each day then having notifications running on your phone will only set you up for a distraction. So stopping these during that time would be a good idea or leaving your phone in another room.

So the key here is to think ahead before you begin. What could set you up for failure or distract you during your new habit? Think this through and plan accordingly.

8 Remember to celebrate all the small wins along the way.

You need those small wins as these help you to continue. We need them every day to gain motivation and resilience.

Motivation won’t necessarily come automatically at the start. So creating a small celebration for each small step completed will, alongside your why, give you the motivation and resilience to continue.

So create a treats and rewards system. How do you do that? Well first off treats should preferable cost nothing or at the very most €5 and are given freely and every day.

Rewards are for bigger milestones, end of each week, month and on the finish date and these cost you more money. Never withhold treats and rewards as you will only set yourself up for mental negativity.

1. Grab a piece of blank paper. You can keep it in your planner or on the fridge. Divide the page in two. On the top of one side write treats and on the other rewards.
2. Now brainstorm what these things could be for you. For example a treat could be a luxury soak in the bath, a cup of coffee, giving yourself some time to watch a favourite TV show or read a book. A reward could be lunch out with a friend or at the end of the 12 weeks a weekend break away. But only you can decide what would be a treat and a reward for you.
3. Now that you have your list, allocate each treat to a small actionable step and each reward each milestone (end of the week, month and then on the finish date). Make sure to plan these in to your diary and never forget to follow through. They are also creating cues for your new habit.

9 Don’t knock yourself if you make a mistake.

Or fail to show up for one session. Adjust accordingly and continue the next day. This is vitally important to remember.

It is far more important for you to start again the next day and continue on than just give up at the first hurdle. Everyone stumbles but the difference between those that succeed and those that fail is that the former don’t knock themselves mentally/verbally and they also pick themselves up and continue with their plans the next day.

10 Get an accountability buddy.

 You don’t have to work on building the same habit but the person has to be positive and supportive for you.

11 Yes the negative vampires in your life will try to knock you.

Having your accountability partner (support group) will be important at these times. If you are not working to delete these people then minimize contact with them.

Remember it’s okay to not tell people what your new habit is. Quietly working with your supporter(s) is okay. People can get frightened when we start to change so everyone might not be supportive at first. Your persistence will win around those that truly have your best interests at heart and these are the only people you need in your life. Let go of the others and their dramas.

12 Take time at the end of your day and week to review how things are going.

This step is a vital one to your success so don’t skip it. Do you need to adjust something? You will probably find you do, particularly in the first few weeks. At the end of the each week take time to plan out the next week including the time allocated each day for your new habit.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No woman is an island. In fact I would strongly advice you make sure you create a positive support system before you start to make any changes in your life.

My Book.

Did you know I talk about basic self-care in my workbook The Building Blocks Of Self-Care? The steps in this workbook will help you lay the foundations to rebuilding your life, feel more in control and help you build healthy relationships. You can purchase it on Amazon or here.