It is only natural at times to worry. Worry can be a helpful tool as it makes us more aware of our surroundings thus keeping us safe. But you have to ask yourself am I worrying unnecessarily at present? Can I do anything about what is happening right now? Or is it out of my control? When you are not in control of the situation your worry isn’t useful or helpful. It only increases your anxiety or stress levels.

If your stress or anxiety becomes worse it affects your physical and mental health.  You become more susceptible to other conditions such as depression, heart attacks, diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, menstrual issues, etc. So what can you do to help ease your worrisome thoughts?

Create A Worry Period If You Need It.

As I said worry has its place and its okay to allow yourself to worry as long as you are being proactive about it. Creating a worry period is being proactive. We are not avoiding our worry here. You are being more proactive in how you handle your worry. You are postponing to a set time later in the day. Plus you are reducing the time you spend worrying over the course of the day. Now this frees you up to look after what you need to and yourself. But how do you create a worry period?

How To Create A Worry Period.

There is a simple 3 step technique to doing this. Each step may have multiple things you need to think about so I’ve numbered them. This will help you get prepared, and be more confident, to get started.

Step 1. Dictate how much time you will worry.

I would allocate only 15 to 30 minutes at most to your worry period. During that time you might want to read social media or the news to get these out of the way for the day. I would spend only 10 minutes doing this if you need to. Remember these can be very negatively draining for us. So having a set time to read, or watch them, will help to reduce their influence over your worry. If you are trying to get your anxiety or stress under control I’d avoid them altogether. But sometimes we have to get real and can’t do that. So 1 decide now how long will you give to your worry period?

There are a few more considerations to include here. Creating a worry period is setting up a new habit. You need to have a set time each day to do this. 2 Decide now when that will be. 3 You also need to have somewhere you can do this. Where will you sit while you worry? You will need room to complete journal entries also. Make sure you are not too comfortable though, so try at a desk/table with a hardback chair. 4 You also need to think about what you will do after your worry period is completed. Make sure you need to do something such as get the kids to bed, make the dinner, organize yourself for the next day or complete some task in work, etc. In this way you can’t go over time once the allocated time is up. So what will that activity be? 5 Don’t forget to set a timer on your phone and allocate a space in your diary for your worry period.

Step 2. Be practical when trying to postpone your worries.

We have to be realistic about this especially in the beginning as our mind is use to having free rein with our worry. So please be patient with yourself and keep trying. You will be able to postpone your worries with practice.

There are a few things we need to do that will help us postpone our worry. 1. Write down in a notebook what it is you want to worry about later. You don’t need to bring your journal with you everywhere. You can use some post-it notes or a small notebook, carry them in your bag or jacket pocket. Just write down the basics of what you are worrying about. One to two sentences at most, we don’t want to dwell on it in the present moment. So what will you use to write down your thoughts? Preparation is key here! So organize the post-it notes or small notebook today.

2. Once you have written it down now get moving. It would be best if you could get moving, so take a short walk, 5 minutes will do it. Even pop to the bathroom, go outside for a few breaths of fresh air, or walk to the photocopier and back. You are trying to use up some excess anxiety/stress hormones here, so get moving.

3. Then complete something else such as a work task, one household chore, make a cup of tea/coffee, meditate or call someone. You can keep a running list of 5 minute tasks near you, in the back of your work diary or on the fridge, which you can use to help here. You are trying to distract your mind here. So get a piece of paper, or use an online app, and start your running task list to help you postpone your worry.

Step 3. Be proactive when it comes to the actual worry period.

You have decided on the allotted worry time e.g. 30 minutes. Now during this 30 minutes you have some steps you need to complete. 1. Set up your timer and get you journal out and begin. 2. During the first 15 minutes you journal about your worries. Write them down all down, don’t try and filter them. If you feel stuck at first just complete a simple brain dump first and allow thought to flow from there and read back over any notes you made earlier.

3. Now don’t forget to challenge what you wrote down. Note: You want to also watch for your triggers. If you have a number of worries only write out one worrisome thought at a time. Now ask yourself: Can I do anything about this person or situation that I am worrying about? If it is something outside of your control you will have to accept that. I know that can be hard but have some compassion for yourself and try to let it go.

4. If this is something you think you can control then make a plan. So the worst case scenario has happened: What could you do? How could you go about that? Can you ask for help, who specifically could you ask? Now remember you have handled stressful situations before so also write down how you handled this before. Remember though to be realistic here. Anxiety tends to overestimate the outcomes and mistakes we would make. By even writing down one or two practical steps that we could do will help us to see we have a plan in place to tackle the issue. This helps us to reduce our worry about something happening and it frees up space in our heads for more important things.

If worry has started to interfere with your daily life though, it is time to ask for help. Seek out a local therapist. They can support you and help you turn things around very quickly.

My Book.

Did you know I talk about basic self-care in my workbook The Building Blocks Of Self-Care? The steps in this workbook also includes chapters and worksheets on negative thinking, and stress. It may help you lay the foundations to rebuilding a more balanced life. You can purchase it on Amazon or here in my shop.