When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, fear, anger, etc., then using the STOP method can help. The STOP simply stands for stop, take a breath, observe and proceed and is a good grounding tool. This is a mindfulness based technique that should take under a minute the more you practice it. At the start it may take a few minutes more to complete. It can also take more time if you decide to add more to the breath, observe or proceed stages.

How To Use The STOP Method.

We can use one method to help us in real time called the STOP method. The stop method is quite simple. Each letter of the word gives us an instruction to help when we catch ourselves feeling stressed, overwhelmed and caught up in negative thinking.

1. S = Stop what you are doing. You are simply too overwhelmed to keep doing what you are doing and will only make mistakes.
2. T = Take a breath, a few deep breaths is all you might need here. If you think you need longer than the 3 minute breather is good for this. Or you could use rhythmic breathing to a count of 4 inhale and 4 exhale for a few minutes.
3. O = Observe what is really going on around you and inside of you. Bodily sensations: What physical sensations are you feeling? Emotionally: What emotions are you feeling? Mental: What are you thinking? You could, if you have time, use some questions from the challenge negative thinking. But you can also engage your senses using the 5,4,3,2,1 technique to help ground you further. I’ll list both the questions and this technique below for you.
4. P = Proceed proactively. Think about what the best proactive actionable step you could take next that would help your stress, anxiety, etc. This will depend on what is happening right now in your day. You could try: Complete a brain dump and then take one small item off your list to complete. Ask for help, delete or delegate a task? Get up for a quick walk to reduce the stress/anxiety hormones? Look after your basic needs: Have your eaten? Are you tired? Anxious? Angry? Lonely? You need to make sure you are meeting your basic needs before going back to any other tasks. The whole idea here is to proceed with your best interest at heart here and not react to what is happening around you.

The STOP method is used to help ground you as you need it throughout the day. It is okay to get up and get moving as you go through the steps. This will help shift some of the excess stress/anxiety hormones flooding your system. Remember you can also use it to settle into a meditation or to use this method to just check in with yourself to see how you are doing.

Questions To Challenge Negative Thinking.

You can use the following questions in your journal to begin challenging your thinking.

1. What are the chances of this happening? This is the “for argument” about what you are stressed about.
2. What is the worst thing that could happen? You are adding to your “for argument” here.
3. Even if the worst thing happened what could I do? This helps you plan out strategies to meet the challenge that is causing you stress. (See below for more help with planning.)
4. What are the chances of it not happening? This is the “against argument” about what you are stressed about.
5. Has it ever happened before? Even if it did happen: How did you cope? Who did you talk to or ask for help? This will highlight that you have dealt with similar situations in the past and survived. Plus you can make a plan of action based on previous experience.
6. Now lets’ get some balance and perspective with the next 2 questions: Is this worth all the stress and what it is doing to me?
7. Will I be stressed about this in one year from now? Or five years from now?

5,4,3,2,1 Technique Procedure.

This is a very simple ground technique you can use on the go anywhere. Just simply name the following:

Say 5 things you see right now.

Name 4 things you can feel right now.

List 3 things you can hear right now.

Name 2 things you can smell right now.

Name 1 thing good thing about yourself or 1 thing you can taste right now.

My Book.

Did you know I talk about basic self-care in my workbook The Building Blocks Of Self-Care? The steps in this workbook will help you lay the foundations to rebuilding your life, feel more in control and help you build healthy relationships. You can purchase it on Amazon or here.