What Are The Warning Signs Of Domestic Violence?

What Is Domestic Violence?

Every couple has arguments and disagreements them from time to time. But when you begin to feel afraid of your partner and what they could do then this could be a sign of domestic violence.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, no matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what your gender, sexual orientation, educational or financial status are. Domestic violence surpasses all barriers and boundaries.

Most of the time we don’t realize that we are in a domestic violence situation as it might not fit with our ideas of what constitutes domestic violence. Most people still think of domestic violence as being only physical abuse. But domestic violence doesn’t usually start off as physical abuse. It usually starts in subtle ways and as a means of undermining you. It then builds from there as the person crosses more and more boundaries.

Domestic Violence And The Law In Ireland.

Domestic violence in Ireland is against the law, covered by the Domestic violence Act 2018. This also criminalises psychological abuse/ controlling and coercive behaviour. Other legislation is also taken into account including Non-Fatal Offences Against the Person Act which covers assault, threats, harassment, false imprisonment, and sexual assault offences. So just because your partner may not have hit you doesn’t mean you don’t have the law on your side.

Please note that domestic violence can also occur even when you are dating someone and if you are a parent of an adult child.

Domestic Violence Warning Signs.

Anyone of the following may be enough to indicate Domestic Violence: (this list is not all inclusive)

You are afraid of your partner.
Constantly ‘walking on eggshells’ because of their mood swings, or spending time working out their mood.
Your focus is always on their needs.
They lose their temper easily and over minor things.
The person has hit you or almost hit you and/or your children.
They have been abusive in a previous relationship.
The person has criticized your family and friends and/or makes it difficult for you to see them or talk to them on your own.
They call you names and threaten you and/or your children.
The individual is jealous and accuses you of flirting and having affairs.
They regularly criticize or undermine you in front of other people. This doesn’t have to be in front of others, can be done in private too.
Your needs are not considered important or are ignored.
They make the decisions in the relationship.
You find it hard to get time on your own and if you do they will demand to know what you did and with whom.
They control access to the car, the family finances, food, the telephone and internet.
You have been forced to do something that you really did not want to do.
They have threatened to have you deported because of your immigration status.
You have been forced to have sex with them or other people.
They try to control aspects of your life. Such as whether you work, and where. Who you see and when. What you can spend. What you can wear. What you watch or listen to on the radio or television.
You were made to participate in sexual activities that you were uncomfortable with.
They demand to know the passwords to your email account and social networking pages.
The person has threatened to kill you, your family members, the children or themselves, if you leave them.

The list above is not fully inclusive. But the list gives you the idea that Domestic Violence (DV) can involve more than physical abuse. It involves physical, emotional, neglect, sexual, financial and economic abuse. It also involves coercive control including gaslighting tactics.

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