We naturally changing every day even when we don’t feel like something is happening. It is perfectly within our nature to question ourselves and wonder what we’re doing with our lives on an ongoing basis. We can often feel stagnant and then get the urge to implement some changes. But something seems to hold us back. No matter how much we feel that urge nothing seems to happen. The question is: What is holding us back?

What Is Holding You Back?

There can be many reasons why we don’t implement change in our lives. This can range from knowing where to start to our fears. All of these can prevent us from committing to any form of change and will ultimately hold us back.

1 Fear Of Failure Or Success.

Fear can hold us back. Two types of fear in particular, the fear of failure and the future or success, can hold us back in work and life. We often have a fear of failure or success because of the high standards we set ourselves. It can often be tied to perfectionism or imposter syndrome, so we can end up avoiding trying altogether.

With these types of fear we can often be afraid we will be found out in some way. Perhaps we will be ashamed by our poor performance. Or be found wanting in some way. Not good enough in other words. Perhaps we are also afraid that the change itself will bring us unwanted attention, or we will lose what we have already.

When we start to view things differently then we can change and challenge them. We can start to see that possible failure could be seen as a challenge instead. A way to evolve, grow and learn. Then we can actually be more willing to try. When we reflect back on how we have already changed, even if we failed, we start to see that we are in fact quite capable and have overcome any failures in the past.

Letting go of these fears will help you face your challenges head on and build your resilience along the way.  We can use a number of techniques to help us overcome these fears. These can include visualizing a successful outcome, setting realistic goals and taking small actionable steps. Plus don’t forget to celebrate and reward yourself for all those small wins.

2 Reviewing What You Give Your Time To.

In order to change and move our lives forward we have to be careful of what we give our time to. If we are giving our time away to people and things that don’t serve us then we won’t have time to focus on what we want to commit to. This holds us back personally and professionally. We need to review our priorities periodically to help keep us on track towards our goals.

If we are too stressed by what is already on our “to do” list we are less likely to want to change things up. When we take the time to review who, what and where we are committing our time and life to we can make the necessary adjustments. Then we are in a better position to move forward again.

Reviewing your priorities is one of the quickest ways to reduce your stress and re-establish your boundaries. Questions you can use for this process include:

1. What is already on your to do list?
2. Why is it really there?
3. Are you able to delete or delegate anything?
4. Can you hand it back to someone who really owns this task?
5. Do you ask for help when you need to?
6. What purpose does this task serve for you?
7. Why are you keeping yourself so busy in the first place?
8. Are you avoiding something or someone? You might not even realize you have been doing that.

Reviewing our priorities is a simply exercise, at least on paper. But when we stop to do this we can find some answers we may not like. Or something we have been avoiding. But it can give you a big clue to what is holding you back.

3 We Don’t Know Where To Start.

We might know what we want to change. We might have freed up some time in which we can make that change. But we don’t know where to start.

We can get so caught up in the outcome that we fail to commit ourselves to the step by step process that will get us there. Going down rabbit holes looking for endless answers to have all the information we “might” need, will hold us back. We hold ourselves back looking for everything to be perfect before we can even make a start.

Removing the need to have a perfect outcome can help here. At some point we do have to commit to showing up no matter what. We do it all the time for others so why not ourselves? Yes we will make mistakes, we will fail, and we will succeed also. It is the fact that we keep showing up no matter what will stop us from holding ourselves back.

So the question becomes: Are you willing to show up for yourself? Even if you feel afraid. Or feel the steps you take are not enough? Or you think you don’t know what you are doing. Even if you don’t have any reason to believe you will succeed? But even then you are willing to show up each day for you then you won’t hold yourself back.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.