Everyone keeps talking about being grateful these days or showing gratitude. But when life is getting you down it can be very hard. Why should I be grateful you may ask? What’s it all about anyway?  These are some very good questions.

When the word gratitude is thrown about these days it’s as if it’s some mystical thing. Your life will suddenly get better overnight if you show gratitude. If you could only say it the right way, mean it, truly mean it when you say it, everything you always wanted will be yours. Life changing, right!  Wrong!

It’s bloody hard to be grateful when you feel like you have nothing to be grateful for. Especially when you can’t see the wood from the trees. But over the years I have learnt that just writing down something I’m grateful for at the end of the day can be mind changing.

I say mind changing not life-changing. It’s not going to take away your debts, your health issues, your alcoholic spouse, your work-related issues. Or anything else that may be is going on in your life right now. But it will help you view the world in which you live a little better. It might even help you decide you need to ask for help.

It’s an attitude change. All be it a small one. But research shows that it can reduce the stresses and strains in your life. This will give you just a little lift in your life in a very short period of time. This type of gratitude has been also shown to keep your mood boosted for longer than other mental health tools. 

What Am I Talking About?

Well, at the end of every day I do two things. Firstly I write out how my day has been (keep a journal). I get angry if I need too and I write it all down to get everything out of my head. Secondly I write three things I’m grateful for. I thought it was a stupid idea at first but then over a short space of time, it seemed to work. It made me really look at my life and see what things were positive in my life. What I had going for me instead of always focusing on the negative.

You always have something to be grateful for even when you can’t see it at first. A roof over your head. Paying your bills every month. Your health, your kids, their health. It was a nice day or someone you passed in the street smiled. There are so many small things around us we can be grateful for. The seemingly ordinary that surround us every day that sometimes we forget to notice. But they’re there, you just have to stop and look for a short while.

At first, I admit I had to fake it till I made it with this one. I had to delve deep to come up with something to be gratefully for. At the time I thought they were some stupid small things. But in hindsight, they weren’t that small and they got me started on my journey to noticing even smaller, and bigger, things and for that I’m grateful. If you need further convincing let’s look at the research into the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.

Why Does Writing Down Your Gratitude Work?

Research has now highlighted various ways in which writing down a minimum of 3 things your grateful for can, in fact, benefit your mental and physical health. It can change the way your brain works. See how your gratitude will grow and help you change your mind.

Some of the benefits are:

1. Stress Busting: Stress can make us very sick, it’s linked to cancer, death, heart disease, etc. Gratitude, on the other hand, is being linked through research as having a positive impact on how people cope better on a daily basis including when stressed. Practising gratitude on a daily basis plays a major role in overcoming trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. Plus is a major contributor to building resilience too.
2. Immune Booster: Grateful people are more likely to take better care of their bodies including having better self-care, diet (reduces your need to over-eat) and exercise. You are also more likely to have regular check-ups. Studies are also linking optimism to better immune function. So if you do get sick or need surgery your recovery is better.
3. Relationship Booster: Whether you thank a stranger, family or friends studies are showing that people will respond and seek out a relationship with someone who is grateful. So showing gratitude to a colleague, family member, and a new or old friend will lead to better quality relationships in your life and the possibility of something new.
4. Improves Mental Health: Gratitude reduces toxic emotions, increases happiness and reduces depression/anxiety. What we focus on grows, so if we focus on the positive (see journal question below) we can grow that positive mindset we want.
5. Increases Patience: Grateful people are more likely to behave in a more understanding and calm manner. Even when others behave less kindly or in an aggressive way. They begin to increase their ability to be more sensitive and have empathy towards others and have a decreased desire for revenge.
6. Improves Sleep. Studies are showing that if you spend about 15 minutes writing down a few gratitude statements before bed your sleep will improve.
7. Improves Self-esteem:  We live in a time of distraction and looking at others highlight reel. We tune in more to what others are saying and not our own inner voice. Studies have shown that gratitude increases self-esteem and reduces comparison to others. In fact, you will appreciate more what others accomplish rather than be resentful towards them as your self-esteem and self-awareness grow.
8. Builds Happiness That Lasts: Gratitude, if practised daily, does very quickly – in about 8/12 weeks – improve positive brain activity which has been shown to last long-term.

The How-To Guide To Gratitude Journaling.

So for the next month, you need to start, or end, the day with your journal by writing down 3 things you are grateful for. You have to keep this up every day and set aside a specific time to do it. After you complete your daily journal might be best.

You can use any of the following questions either together, or individually, to help you get started on this journey.

1. Before you begin your day or at the end of your day, simply list 10 (minimum 3) things you’re grateful for (big or small!)
2. What am I learning from my challenges? List a challenging situation, person, or other obstacle and what good things you’re learning from this challenge. Can coping with the situation/person be of benefit to you? Are you learning something new here? Is this about the person (you can’t know everything that’s going on with someone) or about me? How will facing this situation help me raise my self-awareness?
3. People I’m thankful for. List 5 people who made your life a little happier today. They could be friends, family, or even strangers!
4. The best part of my day was… Choose one moment of your day that made you happy? Focus on it for 5 minutes, write about it, before you go to sleep.
5. Create a list of benefits/people in your life. How can you be grateful for these? To what extent do you take these for granted?

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. In fact I would strongly advice you make sure you create a positive support system before you start to make any changes in your life. One part of that positive support system is working a therapist.

If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.