Around 90 % of us will fail with our new year’s resoultions. By the second Friday in January approximately 46% will have quit, that’s why it’s often referred to as quitters day.  By mid February  the failure rate has gone up to 80% and by March it’s 90%.

So don’t feel you’re alone in this. Plus you can do something about it. You can with a little preparation, understanding, and planning, aim to be in that 10% success rate bracket this year.

So Why Do People Fail With New Year’s Resolutions?

The goal or resolution set is too high, too big or too much.

People fail to realise the enormity of the gaol they have set and thus subconsciously set themselves up for failure.

Going it alone.

People don’t see the need to ask for the correct help or support needed to help them achieve their goal.

A bad day equals complete failure.

One slip and they quit. They feel they are a complete failure who will never succeed. So why bother trying? So they stop all together.

Time management.

The goal or resolution is too time consuming. So they don’t have enough time to actually complete the daily tasks. It doesn’t fit into their current lifestyle.

It’s a large financial burden.

The resolution can create an unrealistic financial burden on you. So it fails as you can’ t meet the financial requirements needed to complete the goal.

No planning.

When you fail to plan, as they say, you plan to fail. Again we are setting ourselves up to fail. This can also be tied into a lack or misunderstanding of time management.

Lack of honesty with ourselves.

We set goals that are based upon others expectations. But in reality they are not for you. You don’t have a why and when you falter you need that why to keep you going.

It doesn’t fall inline with our beliefs and values.

Our beliefs and perspectives on life will sabotage us every time if the resolution doesn’t fit in line with them.

How Do We Succeed Then?

Well as you can guessed by now we need to take each one of the reasons we fail and reverse them. We need to reexamine our goals, discover our why and plan them out properly.

Set realistic goals.

Don’t ever tackle everything you want to change in your life at once. Make sure that the goal you choose is manageable. Decide on your why for each goal. Try to only plan out only goals that can be achieved in the short term to give you a quicker success. Such as 12 weeks at a time for one goal.

If you have a lot you want to change then perhaps chose only one goal at a time. Or a maximum of 3 areas in your life you want to set a single goal for. Think small wins here to help keep your motivation up.

Get an accountability buddy or ask for help.

If one of your goals is to quit smoking then you will need support (check here) You need support groups plus therapy for something like addiction or co-dependency so please reach out for help. If a healthier lifestyle is what you want then think about asking for nutrition advice from your GP. Or to be referred to a dietician for weight loss.

Basically for all goals it’s great if you can find someone who will help you stay accountable and will want you to succeed. They may not have the same goals as you but you can still hold each other accountable. Put in place a positive support system to help you succeed. 

Plan for bad days.

We all get them. We lack the motivation to take the next baby step involved. Such as to get up and go out for that walk. It doesn’t mean you have failed completely. It means you get up the next day and begin again.

You nurture yourself on bad days never criticise. You put together a basic self-care plan and self-care kit for bad days. At the very least you then have a fall back basic self-care routine to help you get through the bad days. Everything is not lost and you can do this.

Time management and planning.

As I’ve said you need to set a realistic goal and know your why before you then break it down into baby steps. Sometimes a bigger goal is better broken down into smaller ones that can be achieved over a 12 week period. So rather than trying to stick to a large goal give yourself a quick win that can be achieved in one month or a maximum of 12 weeks.

Why? Our minds need that quick win to keep the momentum and motivation going. Do a weekly and monthly review. Always use rewards and treats. Plan all this into your diary. If you don’t block out time for the baby steps you’re setting yourself up for failure. 

Financial burdens as I’ve said can cause us to sabotage.

So review your goal. Is there anyway you can achieve the same goal for free? Example: Don’t join a gym just go walking each night with a friend.

Can the goal be broken down into smaller pieces to make it less of a financial burden? Can you save for it instead and then do it? So you need to plan out how you will achieve this financial saving.

Again these questions are part of your planning process.

Get honest with at least yourself.

Do you really want to achieve this goal? Are you doing it just to please others? Are you afraid to succeed?

Sometimes we fear that which we want to achieve as it may take us out of our comfort zone. Or we think it may cause problems for others. Think the goal through. Journal about it before you plan to take that step. Again maybe a smaller goal is needed to help you see that your fear is unrealistic.

Check your beliefs and perspective around this goal.

Do you believe in yourself? What negative thoughts or fears arise when you visualise yourself succeeding?  Is anything you want to try going against your values and fundamental belief system? Can you see how this would set you up for failure?

We can always challenge our beliefs and change them once we recognise them. When we see that they no longer serve us we can let them go. It may not be easy as they will try to hang on in there. But you can do this. Replace one negative thought with a positive one. Or one negative habit with a positive habit. This will always help to fill the void. otherwise the negative will only be replaced by more negative.

Yes this can be a difficult one to do on your own so please reach out for counselling to help you here.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.