Studies show that women are more likely than men to experience symptoms of stress. This stress is also more likely to lead women to experience depression and anxiety disorders. This may be because of how we as women process stress hormones.

Understanding how and what stress is can go long way in helping you to reduce your stress levels. Looking at how it affects you body will, I’m sure, get most of you stirred into action to reduce your stress. 

What is stress?

Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. It’s the body’s defense mechanism kicking in. When it works properly it can help us stay focused, alert and energetic and cope with emergencies. So it will help you stay on your toes during a presentation or slam on the car brakes if needed.

Stress is neither good or bad. One person’s level of stress may be okay for them but the same level in someone else can be too much.  So if our stress levels have become too much for us we need to look at our overall ability or coping mechanisms to judge what we need to do to reduce our stress levels back to a normal one.

In order to do that we need to understand a few things. We need to understand how stress works in our bodies. What is causing our stress levels to rise and how can we reduce them effectively?

Understanding the freeze, flight, fight response.

The body can react to a stressful situation in one of 3 ways. We can fight, get angry and lash out physically or verbally. Or we can take flight, run away. Or we can freeze, play dead. It’s useful to know what that means for your body. But if you can also identify your typical response then you can change it for the better.

When we feel threatened, our nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol. These rouse the body for emergency action. Our heart pounds faster, our muscles tighten, our blood pressure rises, our breath quickens and our senses become sharper. These physical changes increase our strength and stamina, speed, our reaction time, and enhance our focus. All of these preparing us to either fight, freeze or flee from the danger at hand.

For today just ask yourself: Which way do I normally react to stressful situations? Make a note in a journal of a few examples. Particularly ones that occur regularly for you.

Top 10 Stressors women can face in life.

1. Death of a spouse or child
2. Divorce
3. Marital separation
4. Imprisonment
5. Death of a close family member
6. Personal injury or illness
7. Marriage problems in general
8. Loss of work
9. Marital reconciliation
10. Retirement

Although it is not on this list I’d add pandemic at the top.

Other stressors we as women can face.

These stressors are more likely to cause long-term damage as we put up with the symptoms for longer before seeking help.

1. Getting the work/life balance right
2. Being a carer
3. Change in health of family member
4. Pregnancy
5. Sex difficulties
6. Business readjustment (yours or workplace)
7. Change in financial state
8. Death of a close friend
9. Change to a different line of work
10. Mortgage over 150,000
11. Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
12. Child leaving home
13. Trouble with in-laws
14. Spouse begins or stop work
15. Beginning or end of  school year if you have kids
16. Change in living conditions
17. Trouble with boss, change in work hours or conditions
18. Changes in sleeping habits
19. Going on holidays
20. Christmas approaching
21. Social pressures particularly from social media

Internal stressors.

Not all stress factors are caused by external events. Some are based on our own internal thoughts, perceptions and emotions. Excessive worry, pessimism or irrational fears will also give rise to an increase in stress levels. Our own perception of events may, in fact, contribute to our stress levels.

For one person the same event may not even faze them but for another person it may become intolerable. Even that morning commute to work may leave you feeling hassled, uneasy, anxious and tense. But for others that same commute can be seen as an opportunity to relax, enjoy some music or reading a book if not driving.

The Effects of ongoing STRESS on your Body if not dealt with.

SKIN: less blood supply can lead to diseases developing or premature aging skin.

HEART: racing heartbeat and high blood pressure can lead to strokes or heart attacks. 

MUSCLES: ongoing tension leads to aches & pains, even muscle strain. This can also lead to reoccurring headaches and migraines. 

LUNGS: super-oxygenated blood can lead to blackouts and upset heart rhythms.

LIVER: body’s own fats and proteins broken down and released to provide further energy

DIGESTION: shutdown can lead to stomach problems, particularly if you eat on the run. Increase in acidity can contribute to stomach ulcers plus raised risk of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)

CHOLESTEROL: high cholesterol in blood can cause hardening of the arteries.

Raised risk of depression and anxiety is almost twice as likely in women. With an increased likelihood of them suffering more anxiety disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. 

Obesity. Stress increases the amount of a hormone in your body called cortisol, which can lead to overeating and cause your body to store fat. Eating disorders will not be helped by stress, you may, in fact, develop one.

Problems getting pregnant. Women with higher levels of stress are more likely to have problems getting pregnant. Plus not being able to get pregnant when you want to can be a source of stress, creating a cycle. 

Menstrual cycle problems. Women who experience chronic or long-term stress may have more severe premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms or irregular periods. 

Decreased sex drive. Women with long-term stress may take longer to get aroused and may have less sex drive.

Other symptoms to be aware of:

1. Impatience, carelessness, hyperactivity, increased irritability, aggression or angry outbursts.
2. Poor productivity, increased absenteeism.
3. Low energy.
4. Avoidance: places, situations or people.
5. Change in sleep patterns.
6. Increase in alcohol consumption, Drug misuse including prescription drugs.
7. Sudden tears.
8. Withdrawal, feeling isolated.
9. Feeling guilty and shame.
10. Low self-esteem.
11. Inability to make decisions or rushed decision-making.
12. Muddled thinking, forgetful.
13. Reduced coordination.
14. Reduced creativity.
15. Negative thinking increased, Globalized thinking: everything bad/wrong.
16. Fear of rejection, failure.
17. Defensive and over sensitive.
18. Can’t switch off.

Sometimes as women we can think these symptoms can be put down to normal changes especially if they creep up over time. When in fact we are failing to recognise we are stressed. Stress can creep up on us as we try to balance our life thus making it easier to miss. 

Good Stress Reduction Techniques.

A number of areas in our lives connect to enable us to handle stress better. These include exercise, connection to friends and family, rest, relaxation, diet and using our senses. Try to look at including some of these, if not all, in your daily life.

Use a stress reduction journal to find you stressor points. 

As we discussed above you need to identify your stressor. Can you eliminate these from your life? Is this to do with your job? Can you change jobs to reduce the stress? Have you taken on someone else’s to-do list or problems? Hand them back straight away, you are not doing them any favours by helping in this way. It’s no harm to keep this journal afterwards to keep a daily or weekly check on your habits, lifestyle changes or if stress is starting to build again.

Learn some form of meditation like mindfulness. 

Relaxation is a vital step in reducing stress levels and helping to maintain good stress relief. Techniques such as yoga, meditation and deep breathing can help greatly. These can help you maintain a level of restfulness that is opposite to the flight, freeze or fight response levels. When we practice these techniques daily we greatly reduce our stress levels and boost our feelings of joy, serenity and help us remain calm and controlled under pressure.

The seven/eleven breathing technique or mindfulness videos. The 7/11 technique (you can use 4/6 either to start with) is a great technique to use as a 3 minute breather as a great quick stress relief technique. It can be used in any situation when you feel your anxiety, anger or other emotions rise that you need to calm down quickly. Tip: Take yourself off to the loo in work and use this technique to calm down before a presentation or meeting.

Exercise and getting ourselves moving.

Taking up even something as simple as a walk at lunchtime can help. Better yet make it into a hobby or new interest. Getting moving helps eliminate the stress hormones from our body.

Making contact with others including family and friends. 

Again making contact with family and friends can release hormones that relieve stress. But you must feel comfortable and safe when doing this.

Negative vampires, people who bring you down and suck the life out of you, will never do that. Even just a quick chat and a kind word can help. So spend time with people who make you feel good. Don’t allow your responsibilities to hold you back from making time for these kinds of relationships they are too important.

Make it a priority to review your friendship list today. What kind of people do you spend the most time with? Can you eliminate negative vampires from your life? If not, can you at least minimise contact with them? Don’t you owe it to yourself to build good relationships with family and friends? Use your stress journal to check in on yourself about these questions and review all your relationships.

Also make sure you are setting and building healthy boundaries with your self and in your relationships. Most of the time when we are stressed we find that our boundaries are not as healthy as we thought. They may need to be adjusted or be completed overhauled. If the latter is the case then please reach out for support from a local counsellor. 

Using your senses as a means of stress relief and grounding yourself in reality.

Engaging your senses –sight, sound, touch, taste and smell – is a fast way to relieve stress. The key is to find what works for you in a stressful situation. This may take time and practice to figure out. But it is well worth it in the end.

So what might work for you? Some people find lighting a nice scented candle works, walking along the seashore or pier, listening to calming or uplifting music? Whatever it is, it is worth looking into. For more ideas click the link above. 

Eating a healthy diet, cut down on alcohol and drugs.  

When we eat a diet full of processed and convenience food, refined carbohydrates, and sugary snacks, lots of caffeine we can worsen symptoms of stress. Eating a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, high-quality protein, and healthy fats, especially omega-3 fatty acids, is better for stress reduction. When we eat more healtihly we start to help ourselves cope better with life’s ups, downs and daily pressures.

What does your diet look like? Are you resorting to sugary snacks to get you through the day? Do you need to check with your doctor about your diet? It can be hard to change so much at once. So why not just start small, an apple or banana instead of a chocolate bar. Have breakfast in the morning. We often skip this first important meal of the day when we’re stressed. We also tend to skip lunch too. You may be busy but you need to eat food and take a break to relax and talk to friends. This will help with your productivity levels in the long run and reduce your stress levels.

Rest and sleep are equally important. 

Feeling tired can increase stress and increased stress can lead to disrupted sleep patterns.  In my book, The Building Blocks of Self-Care, sleep is the second chapter. I feel it is the most important factor after meditation in improving stress levels, helping us to see our irrational thinking and improving other mental health issues.

A simple thing to do is remove all TV’s and devices from your bedroom. Make your bedroom a no-go zone for any form of social media access also. Your bedroom should be a warm and inviting place where sleep is the main focus. For more helpful tips on sleep improvement check out my blog 11 Tips To Help You Get A Better Night’s Sleep.

Good time management is crucial. 

Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. It is hard to remain calm and focused when we are stress. But we also tend to push all the healthy balance from your lives as well. But there are ways you can reduce stress by using good time management. This should include:

1. not over-committing yourself.
2. prioritising your tasks.
3. breaking projects into smaller pieces/steps.
4. delegate or ask for help.

If you’d like a business and personal diary to help you with time management and a free course then you can join my free group over on facebook.

Over-committing ourselves. 

Always schedule time off first thing in your planner every week. Do not over schedule yourself or things back-to-back. Leave yourself time for lunch, other breaks and time to switch between tasks. Overestimate how long something will take rather than underestimate it.

Prioritize your top 3 tasks daily no more. 

Making a to-do list of tasks is great. But if the list is endless you will start to feel pressurised and it’s unrealistic. You need to decide what and where your priorities lie each day. Tackle these first and then move on to the next 3 items on your to-do list.

Please make sure you are not doing something for someone else who is quite capable of doing it themselves or whose job it is in the first place. Making a Not To Do List is just as important. If you’d like to learn more about this please pick up a copy of my book The Building Blocks Of Self-Care.

Break your projects into small steps. 

A large project can seem overwhelming. But making a step-by-step plan will help you succeed. This goes back to the top 3 tasks for the day above. Focus on one manageable step at a time rather than taking on everything at once. Plus don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Delegating responsibilities. 

Or are they others responsibilities? Review Your Priorities will help you achieve this. You should also ask yourself this question before you begin. You don’t have to do it all yourself, at home/school/work. If you need to hire someone for a job then do it. Asking for help from colleagues is not a sin nor a sign of weakness. Nor is it a sin to not control every aspect of your life or work. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control everything in your life. You’ll find better serenity that way and much less stress.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.