If you were raised by uninvolved parents the journey to healing can be hard. Often times you may not have realized you were neglected at the time. You could have internalized the pain and loneliness you felt while growing up. Plus having your concerns dismissed as being too sensitive or selfish is so undermining.

Sibling rivalry may still be a problem. You can be estranged from your family of origin as a result of what happened to you. The problems you face now may also be as a result of neglectful parenting. So what is uninvolved parenting and its consequences?

What Does Uninvolved Parenting Look Like?

During the 1960’s Diana Baumrind described three types of parenting styles. These included authoritarian, authoritative and permission parenting styles. Later more parenting styles were adding including uninvolved parenting.

Uninvolved parents have little emotional involved with their kids. While they do provide for their child’s basic needs with things such as shelter and food they do tend to have very little knowledge of what their child is doing. They are considered neglectful parents but this in some cases this may be unintentional.

What Are The Characteristics Of Uninvolved Parenting?

Uninvolved parenting can vary considerable. Some uninvolved parents may be hands-off in their approach with their children. Others may be neglectful or reject their child completely.

The characteristics can look like:

1. They don’t ask their child about school or homework.
2. The parent rarely knows where their child is or with whom.
3. They don’t spend too much time with child.
4. They set few rules or limits for child.
5. The child doesn’t receive much guidance, nurturing or parental attention.
6. Children are expected to raise themselves and perhaps take responsibility for younger siblings.
7. They don’t devote energy or time to meeting child’s basic needs.
8. They may lack knowledge about child development.
9. The parent may struggle with low self-esteem, mental health and/or substance abuse
10. The parent may be overwhelmed by other problems going on in their life.

Effects On The Child Of Uninvolved Parenting.

The impact of being raised by uninvolved parents can have a variety of different effects on children. These can include, but are not limited to:

1. The child may have self-esteem, emotional issues and be withdrawn.
2. They may perform poorly in school and exhibit behaviour issues.
3. The child can have higher levels of anxiety, stress and fear due to the lack of parental support.
4. They can have trust and boundary issues.
5. The child has learnt to provide for themselves.
6. They have higher risk of developing substance abuse

The Causes Of Uninvolved Parenting.

Uninvolved parents are often raised in a similar environment. So in effect they are repeating the same patterns from their childhood. Some may be so caught up in their busy lives that they find it easier to keep a hands-off approach to their child.

Other parents may be overwhelmed by their own problems. So they fail to see they are uninvolved or are unable to provide the emotional support their child needs. No reason is good enough to excuse the neglect and its harmful effects. The parents and the family do need support, understanding and help if the effects are ever to be resolved.

What Are The Consequences Of Being Raised By Uninvolved Parents?

Adults who were raised by uninvolved parents must deal with the consequences of that neglect. Their emotional needs were not met or validated so they may not know how to deal with their own emotions. These adults may not even realize that what they went through was neglectful.

The most common effects include, but are not limited to:

1. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
2. Have a higher risk of depression and/or anxiety
3. Emotional issues including poor self-esteem
4. Are at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder or addictions
5. Have problems with trust, intimacy and boundaries
6. Have feelings of guilt and shame
7. Anger and aggressive behavioural problems
8. May repeat uninvolved parenting style with their own children

Effective Treatment For The Affects Of Childhood Neglect.

Effective therapy can help adults and children who have been affected by uninvolved parenting recover. Whether they are still a child or an adult treatment will be similar. It will require a psychologist or multi-disciplinary team depending on the issues presented.

Children will require a special trained child psychologist or team who will tailor the treatment to the child’s needs. Adults may have reached out for treatment for other problems already. During the course of treatment they may have discovered the impact of childhood neglect. Their treatment will likewise be tailored to meet their needs.

Family therapy may also be used with children and their parents. Plus parenting classes could also be offered.

Reach Out For Support.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. In fact I would strongly advice you make sure you create a positive support system before you start to make any changes in your life. One part of that positive support system is working a therapist. Please reach out to a local therapist if you need to.

My Workbooks

I offer a variety of tips and discuss a range of topics in my workbooks The Building Blocks Of Self-Care, Moving Towards Self-forgiveness, The Little Book Of Reflection And Gratitude and Building Acceptance Into Your Life. You can purchase them on Amazon or here