Whatever is on our mind can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Over time our mind can become cluttered with different things that continue to drag us down. They zap our energy and slow us down.

Getting things out of our head and on paper will help raise our awareness of the issues that are holding us trapped. Plus with more awareness we begin what is the real problem we need to solve rather than react all the time. If you are beginning to notice you have a lot on your mind then now is the time to get to the root cause.

What Is Cluttering Up Your Mind?

So what is cluttering your mind right now? All those incomplete tasks, “should do”, unresolved problems, overdue bills, guilt, cleaning, the children, your relationship, a lack of exercise, over eating, procrastination, emotions, and work related issues. Our minds can become very clutter every minute of the day.

All of this thinking will reinforce our own irrational thoughts and beliefs. These thoughts and beliefs can be very subtle at times. Then at other times it can be a full blown mind melt. The more subtle and entrenched they are the more we may not even notice how these thoughts control our day to day life. They can be very damaging if left unchecked.

In fact if we are depressed, stressed, anxious, fearful, worried, etc., it has been shown that we are more inclined towards negative thinking. But once we recognize them we can change them!

So get your journal out each night and begin to note down everything that is on your mind. This will help bring awareness to all those thoughts that are cluttering up your mind. Then you can start to tackle them in a proactive way.

Who Is On Your Mind?

Dealing with negative people, especially adult family members, can be very trying. We all probably have friends, family and colleagues who: badger us, are overbearing, bullying, nagging, are controlling, nit-picking, gossiping, frustrating and angry.

These people spend an enormous amount of time hanging out with us. Not just in person, if you are willing to spend time with them. But also in our minds after they leave. We spend so much time arguing with them in our heads. Then we feel guilty because we are thinking that way. That tape keeps going and going. Our mind is spending so much energy on these people instead of what is really important to us.

When this happens we can find ourselves feeling more stressed, anxious, depressed. We end up doing things we would usually say no to just to keep the peace. But you will quickly burn out if you continue to try to please these types of people. Don’t you owe it to yourself to stop giving them rental space in your head at the very least?

Again use your journal to help you notice who is playing on your mind and why? Why do you give them so much of your time and energy? Not just physically but also mentally. Raising your awareness around these people will allow you to make more proactive decisions about who you spend your time and energy on in the future.

What Is Your Payoff?

In trying to understand what is cluttering our mind we need to take a step back and reflect on what is really going on. When we spend so much mental space on others (adults), particularly negative people, and negative thoughts, we leave very little room for ourselves. For our wants, needs, self-care, goals and joy in our lives.

Some questions you might like to ponder when you journal.

1. Are you using these people or thoughts to distract yourself from a problem in your life?
2. Do you fear taking some positive steps towards your own goals? By doing so much for others you limit your time for yourself.
3. Are you using thoughts and emotions to deflect yourself away from someone you know you need to tackle? Toxic guilt and shame being one example here.
4. Are keeping busy mentally and physically a form of disassociation for you? Disassociating from the real issues we need to look at perhaps out of fear.
5. Do you need to feel needed? So by doing things for others does it fulfill something in you that isn’t being met elsewhere?

These are only a few questions you can use here. Basically you are looking for any kind of payoff, or patterns, in your behaviour you might receive by keeping your mind cluttered.

Whatever we find out, when we raise our awareness, we might have to realize that we don’t want to face some things in our life. If you find this has become the case for you then I urge you to speak to a therapist. We can help you overcome this very quickly and help you get to the root cause of the issue.

My book the Building Blocks Of Self-Care also has chapters on deleting negative thinking and people. It comes complete with worksheets to take you step by step through the process.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. If you need extra support then you can also schedule an appointment with me.