Words can be very powerful. Ask anyone who over thinks. They help to lift us up and bring us down and sometimes all in the space of a few minutes. When we pay too much attention to those negative words we can’t help but reinforce the negative thinking cycle in our mind.

That negativity can hinder us in so many ways, physically and mentally. Research has shown us that the negativity we speak and listen to will determine how we think, behave and react on a daily basis. If we listen and speak with too much negativity we can end up with a negative bias. So we only focus on and hear the negative that surrounds us every day.

So being more discerning about our choice of words we speak and listen to is so important if we want to improve lives. But first let’s build our awareness around what is the negative bias?

What is the Negative Bias?

When we think, react, behave, etc, it is being driven by external or internal events. The brain fires neurons along a pathway to forge the links needed. Neurons activate along a pathway and as they say neurons that fire together stay together.

So repeating negative thoughts or/and comments in our head or listening to negative people, Social Media, news cycle, etc., will wear down a path that reinforces these negative thoughts and patterns we have taken on. This over and over negative commentary digs a pathway that gets us to only notice, or primarily notice, the negativity around and within us. We have wired our brain to a negativity bias.

Then we tend look for that negativity outside of ourselves so it can be continually reinforced. That’s the negative bias we end up with that drives so much our life, thoughts, behaviours, emotions, and physiological responses. We can be particularly prone to it when we are stressed, anxious, depressed, etc. It can be a little easier to navigate when we are feeling more upbeat.

The Negative Bias and Our Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Etc.

The negative bias keeps perpetuating itself and grows bigger and bigger. We’ve seen this in brain scans. You have a thought but it’s the cognitive distortion that follows that keeps it going and building. Causing more stress hormones to be released (fright/flight/fight response) also released when we are anxious or depressed, etc. If left long enough we can become addicted to the stress hormones. Returning to normal levels will be harder to do and you can end up in burnout.

You might say but sure the stuff I’m telling myself is true. The things I see and hear around me are also true. Remember you can say there is a kernel of truth in something. But you can also say that there is a kernel of truth in the opposite of that also.

For example: So thoughts that might tell you “I can’t handle this (what’s going on in the world and your life right now) can also be looked at as “I’m already handling this”. Because yes you are, you are doing the best you can and getting up each day to face it all over again. You can handle this because you are handling this!

Using Positive Words To Find “Magic Moments” In Our Lives.

How can positive words and moments help us to reframe or rewire our brain? If we look for a positive moment each day, attached to a positive word, then this can help us to rewire our brain away from the negative bias. Try to find a word that has a positive connotation for you.

In other words it will help us to see that there are positives in our daily lives that perhaps we are ignoring because of the negative bias. When we do this it will also help rewire the brain to look for other positives in our lives.

Looking for these magic moments as I call then will work in a similar way to gratitude and affirmations. They are small action steps we can take, if done consistently on a daily basis that will have a powerful impact on your life.

Our Mind And Magic Moments

So we’re laying down a new pathway in the brain by recording and noticing these daily magic moments. When we notice these positive moments, and writing them down, that instructs the brain to go look for other positive things. It says to the brain these are important for me find me more of them.

Our brain will pay attention to what we tell it to. It’s a very simple machine, all be it a complex one at times, but it is simple all the same. It loves instructions and problem solving.

If you think about it for a moment you didn’t come out of the womb feeling stressed, anxious and having negative thoughts, etc. Events and people around you helped program your brain to do this negative bias. So why not reprogram it to see the positive instead?

Noticing these moments and writing them down each day will reinforce the rewiring much more quickly. If done in conjunction with gratitude or affirmations it should also have a powerful impact in a shorter space of time.

How Do We Do This?

You have a couple of options here all of which can be completed on your own. Simply choose 31 positive words. Positive connotation for you, as words can be subjective. Don’t forget to look up the synonyms of each word also, as this can help. Allot one word to a day in the month.

For example 1^st of every month you choose to the word happiness. 2^nd is gratitude, 3^rd is love, and so one. So on the 1^st the month your word is happiness, you then look for a moment of happiness in that day and write it down in your journal. You can also just keep a note at the bottom of your diary or a running tally sheet of moments either.

2^nd option: You work with the longer list of words. 52 words this time and use one per week.  You then spend the week looking for at least one moment per day that reflects that word. So you end up with a total of 7 magic (positive) moments for the week. Make a note of them in your diary, journal or on a running tally sheet.

Examples

• Word         “Magic moment”
• Love              Hug from one of your children just as you are feeling overwhelmed or upset.
• Happiness    You find yourself smiling at your children’s silly joke.
• Gratitude      Someone let you out at a busy junction.
• Peaceful        A quiet few minutes sipping your tea or coffee. Or a glass of something after the kids are in bed.

Remember Not To Dismiss The Magic Moments

We all too easily dismiss the small positive moments in our lives. Even more so when we are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, caught up in negativity, etc.

Stop dismissing the positives you have already in your life. They can, and do, add up and they are also the ones that can matter the most. In our hurry to deal with the busyness of our lives we can dismiss the most important things as we feel we are hurtling from one crisis to another.

That’s it! It is very simple and for that reason you might decide to write it off. But we know from research that what you tell the brain to look for, it will find and focus on. Remember our neurons are firing together and sticking together and digging those pathways to create the automatic thinking and reacting.

We need to get the brain shifted from the negative bias in to a more positive frame of mind. Creating this kind of positive habit, and it is a habit, just like our negative thinking is a habit, is one positive way you can change your life.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.