With life becoming more pressured and stressful it is no wonder we are finding it harder to balance our lives. But it is vital to our mental and physical health that we continually try to do so. For you see it is an ongoing process rather than a once you achieved it you have it type of gaol.

So what are some things we can actively try to achieve a more balanced life?

Make a commitment to find your balance.

If we want to find a more balanced life then we have to make a commitment to trying different techniques in order to find it. We need to continue to make that commitment on a daily basis in order to succeed. We also need to recognise that this does take self-discipline on our part but small steps are the way to go in order to achieve success.

Start by looking at your entire life and make time to balance both your internal and external lives. What do I mean by that? Our internal life includes our mind, heart and health, while our external life includes family, work, fun, etc. It’s all interlinked so don’t make the mistake of only focusing on one aspect, try for an overall balance instead.

Yes when we start to review our life (see below) in order to achieve greater balance we would focus on only one area at a time. Trying to change too much too quickly will usually leave us struggling with too much and on a course to failure. Better to start small in order to achieve bigger success.

Some questions to consider before you start:

1. What does a balanced life mean to me? Your idea of a balanced life may be entirely different from someone else’s. That’s because it’s your life, no one else has your life experience, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, values, commitments, etc. So you get to decide what it should look like.
2. Define your why? Why do you want a balanced life? What will you achieve by having a balanced life? Knowing our why will keep us going even if we lose motivation and willpower. The reason we need to change something has to be greater than our reason to stay where we are. So make sure your why is strong, get down to the root of the issue and find your why.

What are some key ideas to help you create a more balanced life?

1. Lay the foundations for a balanced life.

Yes I will say it, having good basic self-care will lay the foundations of a more balanced life. As they say you can’t help anyone else unless you help yourself first. This is so true.

Having a basic self-care routine will also give you a collapse point to fall back on for bad days. You can create an emergency self-care kit as well to help you here. I’ve talked extensively about what goes into a basic self-care foundation in my blogs, videos and podcasts. Plus my book (plus workbook) The Building Blocks Of Self-Care goes into a lot more detail if you’d like to check it out you can purchase it here.

It’s all well and good knowing what to put into a self-care routine but you need to make sure you are scheduling these daily in order to make your life more balanced.

I understand that this might be hard work and a lot of change for some at the beginning. But as I said small changes are better and are more likely to become permanent healthy habits. So take the time to schedule in one small change at a time until it becomes a habit then add the next one.

2. Watch your self-talk.

How can we have balance in our life if we are listening to negative self-talk? These constant internal put downs will keep us doing the same old unhealthy habits. So how could we possible have balance if our own minds keep us on the same negative hamster wheel?

We have to remember we are listening to a tape that was created as we have grown older. And like all tapes it can be rewritten thus allowing us to replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk.

If this is something you know you need to change then ask yourself some questions.

1. Whose tape is it really?
2. Who do you hear when that voice starts up?
3. When you hear that tape?
4. Is there a particular trigger?

These questions allow us to uncover what is going on with our negative self-talk. From there we can create positive affirmations that can rewrite our tape.

3. Boost your gratitude levels.

One sure way to change your attitude to life is to boost your gratitude. It’s not going to take away your debts, your health issues, your alcoholic spouse, your work-related issues or anything else. But it will help you view the world in which you live a little better. It might even help you decide you need to ask for help.

It’s an attitude change, all be it a small one, that can reduce the stresses and strains in your life. A lot of research has gone into how it affects our mental health in a short period of time. So just writing down three things you are grateful for at the end of the day will do this. You can use my reflection and gratitude journal to get you started today, it is available in my shop.

4. Actively reduce your stress levels.

We all have busy lives and stress can so easily build up without us even realising it. So taking the time to add to your basic self-care and schedule in activities that will lead to stress reduction is vital.

Although I consider meditation to be part of our basic self-care if you don’t already do some form of meditation then it’s time to start now. Even a three minute breather that you use on the go throughout the day will help to actively reduce your stress levels and leave you feeling more balanced. I discuss the three minute breather in a podcast you can access here.

Other ways we can reduce our stress:

• Take time for lunch every day. A lot of the time when we are busy we will use our lunch hour to catch up on something else, either for work or our personal lives. Don’t, take the break and eat something nourishing.
• If you are working indoors or at a desk then take some time to get outside. Get up from your desk for a few minutes for ever hour you are sitting there and take a walk at lunchtime.
• Look at other forms of exercise you can take to help you expel the adrenaline that has built up from your stress.
• Make time for hobbies and interests. We need some alone time every day, about 20 minutes. You can channel that time in to something like a hobby, especially creative ones. These can help you reduce your stress levels but also help you find a small way to have some balance between your work and personal life.
• Disconnect from social media and the media in general to take back control. Mute your Social Media notifications during the day. Have set times you will check in on social media, plus for how long you will engage with social media. Reduce the amount of interruptions and distractions you get from social media during the day. These notifications can not only disrupt our time with our families, friends, and work we need to do. But they supply us with information over load and keep us addicted to our phones and tablets. Remember social media does activate the same parts in our brain as any addiction and increases our stress and anxiety levels if the information is predominately a negative one. Muting your devices doesn’t mean you never get to hear and see what is going on. It just means you get to take back control over the when and how much of your time you will give to social media.

5. Make connections with your support system a priority.

As I said at the start life is busy and it can have its ups and downs. During those downs we really need positive people who will understand, listen and support us more than ever. Giving and receiving that support is one of the basic needs we have as humans. There are many benefits to having a strong support system in place in our lives including reducing stress, anxiety and depression.

We all need four types of support in our lives: Informational, Emotional, Social and Tangible. I discuss these in great detail in my blog on support systems. We are after all social creatures. We need all of these connections to support our mental and physical health.

So if you want to balance your life you need to remember to make those connections and keep making them. Relationships that are neglected die. We need to be very proactive in keeping them going. One quick way to help you here is to reach out to have a chat and a laugh with a positive friend. This is a simple but an effective way to build a positive connection.

6. Take time for reflection in all areas of your life.

I already discussed making a commitment to finding a more balanced life and one way to do this is to review your priorities. While we are so busy we don’t realize we have taken on more and more. Some of this may be other’s responsibilities, problems, roles, etc. The only way to find out what is going on is to review what we actually do each day and for whom.

By reviewing our priorities and becoming clearer about our goals we often find our lives become less stressed and more balanced. But remember to set yourself up for success here. There is no point in deleting or delegating if we only take on more and more again. So be careful to review it frequently, weekly and monthly reviews will keep you on track for success.

Another point to remember is to make sure your tasks are small enough so you can succeed in one sitting thus giving yourself small consistent wins to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

7. Raise your awareness and empower yourself.

Make time to keep learning as you go through life. This can ensure we always have an open mind and are more empowered to make the right decisions we need to keep our lives balanced.

Remember to include some self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and compassion in there as part of your empowering actions to take.

I have several workbooks, which take you through a step by step process on these topics, available in my shop: self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.

8. Create healthy boundaries.

You cannot possible have a balanced life if you have unhealthy boundaries with yourself or in your relationships.

If we’ve been programmed to believe that setting a boundary is selfish we will struggle to look after ourselves. This can build resentment and leave us feeling like we’re running on empty. Establishing our own limits is a necessity. Knowing what are values and beliefs are will lay the foundations for creating your boundaries.

When we learn to have compassion, respect and trust with ourselves first we find our life takes on a much more balanced look. Clear boundaries allow us to treat others with respect, compassion and trust also and we can ask for what we need without the need for muddled conversations. We get along much better with everyone when we have good communication skills also.

9. Make sleep a priority for you.

With an unbalanced life sleep seems to also go out the window. We need to make sleep a priority if we want to take back control. Sleep is so important to our mental and physical health. It is one of the first things I look at with a client when they come to me for therapy.

If you are not getting a good night’s sleep (between 7 and 9 hours) then you are leaving yourself open to stress, accidents, illnesses and other physical and mental health conditions. To get a better night’s sleep I’ve listed out fifteen ways you can use to help yourself here.

10. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

When we notice our life is out of balance we are actually noticing that our comfort zone has become uncomfortable. Starting to notice such things is usually the first stage towards changing things up. As they say we can’t change what we aren’t aware of.

But to complete the change we need to become more willing to accept where we are right now is not going to work for us any more either. Then we can take the step towards action and stepping outside of our comfort zone. It’s not a one off thing either. It’s a repeat process throughout life, as we grow and change so do our comfort zones.

So how do you change your comfort zone?

1. Identify your comfort zone first. Reviewing all areas of your life ask yourself: What can I do already that feels okay? What do I do as part of my normal everyday to do list?
2. Identify the edge of your comfort zone. What are the things I just about do? These may be things where you feel a little fear but you know you can still do them. Make a list of these. Again you are looking at what you fear but you can also see you have overcome this fear and succeeded.
3. Identify what you don’t feel confident in. This is the list you will work towards getting more confident in.
4. Identify what you could try from this list, even in a small way, over the next week. This will help you see that you can do things that scare you. A word of caution here: Don’t take a big item off the list, you’ll only fail. Start small, as this will help you succeed in the future. Now plan when you will do it into you diary and go for it.
5. Take time to notice what happened in response.How did you feel? Journal it out and tackle any negative comments you hear coming up in your head. Really question them, don’t let these comments bully you into taking a step backwards.
6. Now you have to do it all again but this time you have your success to build from.

If you are having trouble here adopt an act as if attitude and enlist the help of your support system. No matter how far we go in life there will always something that steps us outside our comfort zone. We should be always willing to strive to take that challenge and grow as human beings.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.