The term encouragement has been defined as an action whereby we give someone support, confidence, and/or hope. This can also be done through words that assist or inspire someone (something) to do or continue to do something.

But no amount of encouragement can be given to others if we don’t encourage ourselves first. So your first question to ask is: Where do I encourage myself? Where do I support, provide confidence and hope for myself through actions and words?

When we stop to think about this we often find that although we encourage others we do in fact fall short on encouragement towards ourselves. But we can rectify this quite easily through taking some steps that will help. I’ll outline some tips below that you might find helpful.

Some Points To Consider First.

Before I continue to these tips I would like to point out a few things you might like to consider on your encouragement journey. When we consider these points it can help us to reframe our relationships, all of them. Plus our understanding of how we impact other people’s lives even when don’t think we do.

1. Encouragement is a great relationship booster, no matter who that relationship is with. Think about that. Go back to the definition and re-read it. If you are encouraging, you are more likely to be positive to be around. You are more likely to have better self-confidence and set healthy boundaries People find that attractive to be around.
2. If others succeed or fail that is not on you. There are two issues here. Firstly we can feel threatened by other people’s success and secondly we take on others failure as our own. This is not the case and it is generally linked to how we feel about ourselves and our self-confidence.
3. You are more inspirational than you think. And yes you do impact others around you in many ways. We tend to dismiss this very easily and more so if we don’t have good self-confidence.
4. Remember just like with accidents it’s always the quiet ones you have to watch. So if someone doesn’t seem like they need your time and a bit of encouragement they may do. People may appear calm and confident on the outside but inside they may question everything they do. So the more you get to know the person and listen you’ll know when they too need encouragement. Trust your gut here and give everyone encouragement equally.

How To Encourage Others.

Notice Those Who Encourage You.

I’ve spoken before about everyone needing a positive support system surrounding them. Those who encourage us are part of that positive support system. Just as we become a part of someone else’s support system when we encourage them.

So the first thing I’d say to you here is to notice those positive people in your life and how they encourage you. We all learn from what we are shown and surrounded by. By acknowledging these people, letting them know we appreciate their efforts, we also encourage them in return.

Pay Attention And Listen.

The foundation of good communication skills is the ability to listen. If we can suspend judgment for even a few moments we might even hear what is really being said and offer words of encouragement instead of judgment.

Listening to someone else is important and the other person feels heard when we just listen without interruption. It’s a great way to build rapport and understanding to what they are going through. Ask what they need, how you can support them. Remember encouragement means supporting someone but only in ways that really help them. So stop and listen before you rush in to help.

Good communication skills are not something that comes naturally to everyone. So think about learning, you find some tips here.

Watch How You Speak.

Watch how you speak about yourself and others. Even if this is just in the quiet of your own mind. If you are not being encouraging about, and to yourself, in your mind then you are also more likely to speak negatively about yourself in front of others too. You can come off as very negative as a result. Others can find this off putting and not very encouraging. It’s just as important to acknowledge your own positive traits and sing your own praises as you do others.

Praise Others For Their Help And Efforts.

Try to comment when someone helps you or you see they are doing something right. It’s very effective technique that shows the other person you have noticed them and they are more likely to respond in a positive manner in the future as a result.

Remember though it isn’t about getting it right all the time or the big achievements/goals reached either. It’s about progress not perfection here. If someone has done thire best, then praise them. It’s about drawing attention to what is going well for that person and the steps they have taken. It will keep them motivated and encouraged to continue.

Try To Acknowledge Others.

Don’t overlook the power of a simple “Thank You”. It’s one of the simplest ways we can acknowledge and encourage others. Other phrases such as: “well done”, “you were great”, can also be encouraging. Be genuine in your acknowledgement and explain specifically how they helped.

Others ways we can acknowledge others is by encouraging them to express their thoughts and feelings. Allowing them time to talk about what is happening for them is vital here. It is important that we recognize other’s thoughts and emotions as valid in our interactions with them.

Plus letting someone respond to you in their time is also vital. Don’t rush in with an answer or filling in an answer for them. Allow them time to formulate their own thoughts around a topic and answer for themselves.

If You Introduce Someone Try To Include Something Positive About Them.

It can be intimidating to walk into a room and not know anyone. If you are introducing someone try to include something interesting about them, a strength or achievement perhaps. Or maybe something they have in common with the person you are introducing them to.

This can help people feel more comfortable, makes a connection with the other person and gives them some to talk about. It also shows you are interested in the person and you have taken the time to pay attention to them as an individual. People like that and find it encouraging.

Celebrate All The Wins

It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate but we need to at least acknowledge what we, or they, have achieved no matter how small. It’s a great way to build encouragement, self-confidence, resilience and motivation. We are also letting others know how important they are to us and that achievements are being noticed.

Don’t forget to praise others and thanking them for their efforts in front of others as well. This can be very effective in encouraging them. Plus others in the group can also come on board and praise them as well.

Lastly Don’t Forget The Power Of Your Smile!

Even smiling at a strange can boost their day and yours. It can be one of the most powerful ways you can encourage others. We often forget how much better we feel when someone smiles at us. Their friendly nature shines through and is infections. It could be that much needed encouragement we, or someone else, needs to turn the day around.

Finally, Don’t Forget You!

Remember all of the above tips work both ways. You need to acknowledge, praise, listen and celebrate yourself first if you are to encourage others.

A Question For You

A question you might like to consider this week. Can everyone be encouraged? Or do you consider some people will never accept encouragement no matter what we do? Remind yourself of the definition above and think of different people in your life when you answer. Don’t forget to include yourself!

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.