We know we should look after ourselves better as mums. We’ve all heard the phrase “you cannot serve from an empty cup”. But let’s be honest here who has the time? I know when my children were younger it certainly felt like I had no time for myself. Let’s face it, it can feel like we are barely keeping our head above water some days here.

Unfortunately keeping up with a busy schedule can lead to increase stress, anxiety and even burn out. If there is one thing time has taught me is that I needed some kind of self-care routine as a mum. If not my stress levels would have continued to rise and I would have burnt out. It’s one of the reasons I wrote my book, The Building Blocks Of Self-Care, in order to help other mums gain stress reduction into their lives.

Why We Need A Basic Self-Care Routine?

Keeping ever increasing busy schedules can only lead to an increase in our stress levels, a lack of sleep, which we are only too aware of, and possible burn out in the end. A good basic self-care routine will be your foundation to help keep your mental and physical health in better shape.

If you have already reached your breaking point with stress, anxiety, a lack of sleep, etc., having some small self-care activities will help you re-center your life again. If you can make some of the suggestions below into an automatic habit with your routine then when everything else goes astray in your life you can quickly regain control again.

On high stress days, we can reset our ability to cope with whatever life has thrown at us by having a collapse point in place. We create this collapse point of basic self-care below which we have decided we will not go. In other words it is the bare minimum we will do each week for ourselves to keep our stress in check.

Even doing something small each day for you will feel a lot better than doing absolutely nothing. It’ll also help keep that nagging voice in your head from being so critical about you not doing things for yourself.

When we look at why we don’t have a self-care routine we usually find that: we were not taught to do so, have low self-esteem, don’t set healthy boundaries with others and have forgotten that loving ourselves just that little bit more than we do another is important. Perhaps even as mums we have gotten so busy and stressed that we are just too tired to stop and think about what we are doing and for whom.

When we have learnt to put into a place an ability to look after ourselves, it builds our self-confidence, reduces our stress, anxiety etc. It also has the knock on affect of building our resilience to cope with the everyday ups and downs. But how can we include self-care in our already busy lives?

12 Tips To Help You Include Basic Self-Care Into Your Routine.

1 Get enough sleep and make it a priority if you do nothing else.

There’s nothing worse than a lack of sleep on our mood, brain function and physical well-being. We can cope with so much more when we get a good night’s sleep.

I cannot stress enough that the lack of sleep can increase your risks of developing physical and mental health conditions. These risks include, but are not limited to, increased risks of stroke and heart attacks, type 2 diabetes, endocrine problems, stress levels increase as does anger, cravings for caffeine and sugar plus a decrease in concentration.

If you are a new mum, or have a toddler who is teething, then take a nap when they do. Do not be tempted to do housework or any else during this time.

If that isn’t an option for you, ask a relative to take them for a night so you can at least get one night’s uninterrupted sleep. You and your partner can also take it in turns to get up with the children during the night. Or put them to bed each evening so the other can have some time for themselves. Even if your partner is the only one working they could take the child on the weekends to allow you to have a full night’s sleep.

I have included some further tips in my recent blog on sleep you can read it here or watch the video.

2 Make sure you are eating at least 3 healthy meals a day.

Eating at least three healthy meals a day is a must to keep your mental and physical health supported. If you are not getting enough rest you will crave the caffeine and sugar. But this creates a negative cycle as it compromises our sleep further.

So try to cut back on the caffeine in the afternoons and switch it out for decaf. You will also probably berate yourself for eating the high sugary foods leading to a negative thought cycle.

If you are not getting breakfast and lunch then you have to question why. Is it that you are working through your lunch? That is never a good idea, it will affect your brain function. We all need to stop for regular breaks to be more effective.

Are you too busy in the morning for breakfast? Try and do some of the things you usually leave till the morning the night before. Is your list is too overwhelming? Then it’s time for a review of your priorities. Delete, delegate or ask for help where appropriate.

Go easy on alcohol also for the same reason. It might help you relax but as it leaves your system it may wake you up.

3 If you have no time for exercise get out for a walk at lunchtime.

Taking a walk during lunchtime can combine exercise and help to improve your sleep and stress levels.

Try to take some breaks outside also, especially if you are indoors all day. Even sitting down by the backdoor for 10 minutes and focusing on just your breathing can be enough of a recharge between tasks. Remember our brain is better working in shorter batches on similar tasks. After two hours it needs a longer break so please take it.

If you are sitting at a desk all day, even at home, then stretch at least once an hour. Get up from your desk and move about. When we are hunched over your desk you are inadvertently putting your body into the freeze or fright mode. This is sending an unconscious signal to the brain that you are not safe. It raises your anxiety levels also. It is not good for your mental or physical health long term. This also allows your mind time to switch between tasks as it was simply not made for multi-tasking.

4 Put appropriate supports in place to help you.

We all need four types of support in our lives. These four supports include: informational, emotional, social and tangible supports. Even knowing who to call in an emergency can be life saving.

Having the right supports and information in place can save us time and reduce our stress levels. With the right support in place we already know where, how and who you can get help from in a crisis or on a day to day level.

So keep a list of people you can count on handy. Once this is set up it can free up your time to spend on some self-care, make social connections (see below) and reduce your stress.

5 Create an emergency self-care kit in advance for bad days.

Bad days happen we have a really stressful day with the kids or at work. These kinds of days zap your energy, your mood, and your sense of self-esteem and confidence to low levels.

Days like this can be very tough and can create a lack of motivation that sends us into a downward spiral. We want to avoid that spiral at all cost.

Creating this type of kit will help you feel that you are at least supporting your mental and physical health even on these days. It will help you reduce your stress and you will have still completed something to support your self-care. I laid out a how to video in a blog so please click this link to find out more.

I’d also include some freezer food, you could prep some meals in advance for days like this or have some pizza or takeaway. The kids won’t starve or die if they have pizza and you can have an easier evening.

Sometimes you just have to get practical around how much time you have to prepare meals and do all that you do for your children.

6 Create a morning and evening routine.

I know that is easier said than done. But if you can get a good regular morning and evening routine going it will help everyone to be more relaxed. Get clothes and lunches ready the night before, preferable straight after dinner. So that once you sit down to relax you don’t have to worry about them. I talk you through creating a routine in my video here.

Have your shower or bath as part of your nightly bedtime routine to relax you. It might also give you 10 minutes in the morning to savour a cup of tea before the kids land.

7 Meditate throughout the day.

Instead of trying to do a 30 minute formal practice, try a 3 minute breather throughout your day. It’ll help you to re-centre and calm your mind throughout the day also. So that it’s preventing the stress from building in the first place.

8 Use a brain dump.

If you are working then I suggest you do this twice a day. Once when you finish work to clear your mind of work stuff before the evening routine kicks in. It’ll also help you be more present if you are not trying to keep work related stuff in your head. You’ll be more focused at home as a result.

The second time I advice using a brain dump is before you go asleep. It gets everything you could possible think of down on paper and out of your head. Finish with 3 things you’re grateful for. This will also help to raise your happiness levels.

9 Don’t turn on social media first thing in the morning.

It’s a great way to waste time and starts your day off on a negative footing. Use this time instead to meditate, try some stretches or read positive quotes.

These will be a better and more positive start to your day, while also helping to rewire your brain into a positive outlook.

Don’t turn on notifications from work until you arrive at work or you begin your work day at home.

10 Don’t bring work home with you either.

If this is happening to you, you will find that you feel you can never relax or get time away from work. Are you taking on more than is necessary? Doing things in work for other people?

Perhaps you are trying to do two jobs instead of the work you were hired for. It can happen to us all. I once worked in a job where when I left they had to hire two people to replace me my role had expanded that much.

We can end up in a similar position over time and not realise it. Your employer might not be aware either because you are so good at what you do. But at the same time you will burn out quickly if you continue.

11 Get everyone involved in doing the housework at the weekends.

Or have smaller jobs for the kids during the week. Yes they may not do as good a job as you at first but they will learn. Remember you are teaching them a life skill here.

This can free up some precious time that you can use together for something fun as a family. Meet up with friends, family or have a date night with you partner either.

Remember that basic self care involves making connections with others and this includes family, friends and your partner. We are after all social creatures so we need to feel connected with others for our mental and physical well-being.

12 Schedule in your check-ups.

These are something we neglect especially if we are too busy. But these are vital for your physical and mental health also. So make sure to schedule in regular visits to your doctor or dentist.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.