For many of us the idea of creating a self-care practice might seem selfish. The concept of self-care has become distorted over the years. So much so that we don’t realize that it is through having a basic self-care plan we are more accepting, compassionate and are better able to help others.

Self-care is an expression of self-love, self-compassion and self-acceptance. When we look after ourselves, when we are more accepting and compassionate with ourselves, we can be more of those things with others. We have a sense of being whole again and can come from a better place when looking after others.

So Much To Do And So Little Time For Ourselves.

We have so many competing priorities in our lives. All too often the idea of taking care of ourselves seems to fall to the bottom of our daily to do list. We have forgotten that keeping ever increasing busy schedules can only lead to an increase in our stress levels and a lack of sleep.

A good basic self-care routine will be a foundation by which to help keep your mental and physical health in better shape. Creating a plan that is manageable for you will help you practice basic self-care and look after your mental and physical health better. I have to ask you, don’t you owe that much to yourself? If you are ready to practice self-care then let’s begin now.

Some Strategies To Help You Create A Self-Care Plan.

Define what self-care means to you.

What does self-care mean to you? For me it meant I needed to review how I was looking after myself each day. I needed a realistic plan in place to look after myself. That was why I created the basics of self-care in the first place. It really was for me, to aid my recovery journey on a daily basis.

The basics of self-care for me included: getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, drinking water and cutting back on tea, taking some form of daily exercise, showering, meditating, and journaling, taking time to connect with others and my hobbies. These may sound obvious to you but are you doing them each day?

Do you know what it means to you to take care of yourself? The above list is only the very basics for me, I’ve moved on a bit since then, as I grew and did more self-development work I added in more. Your first point is to create your basics of self-care that fits into your lifestyle. You can use my list as a starting point to kick off from.

List Your Own Self-Care Basics.

So what would be included in your very basics of self-care? What do you already include each day? It’s okay to create a list that is unique to you.

Maybe you don’t feel meditation is right for you. Try combining exercise with relaxation by doing yoga or Tai Chi instead. Some people find that a walk helps them clear their heads, relax, as well as keeping them fit. You could also connect with a positive friend and get fit together.

List out 10 things that you can do immediately that are attainable and realistic. Is there any way you can combine some basics of self-care together so that you can fit it all in to your busy schedule?

Take A Moment To Understand Why You Have Trouble Looking After Yourself.

Use your journal and a little problem solving here. Why do you feel that taking care of yourself is difficult for you? What messages did you receive about self-care while growing up? What are the pros and cons of looking after you? In other words: Why do you resist taking care of yourself? Why is it okay to look after you now? Take a moment to answer these questions.

When we look at why we don’t have a self-care plan we usually find that:

1. We were not taught to do so.
2. We have low self-esteem
3. That we don’t set healthy boundaries with others.
4. Plus we have forgotten that loving ourselves just that little bit more than we do another is important.

Let Go Of That Guilt.

Guilt and shame can keep us trapped in the past and the present. Guilt is really one of the worst emotions we can have as most of the time it is unwarranted. So unless you have hurt someone then let it go as you are only continuing to hurt yourself.

When we view our emotions as either/or negative or positive we grant them more power over us than they deserve. They are neither positive nor negative. They are only one part of our respond to an internal, or external, event.

Remember we get to choose how we respond. No one gets to dictate how we respond. Guilt though can make us feel we have to respond in certain ways to some people and situations.

Understanding our own response to events and people in our lives is vital. This includes looking at your own negative thinking and deleting negative people from your life.

Learn to recognize your shame and guilt reactions. Just observe them at first. Journal about them and get to know your triggers. Are they appropriate reactions to these situations? If not, do you need help dealing with them? Get to recognize your pattern of behaviour with shame and guilt and you will be able to let it go.

You Can’t Be All Things To All People And Still Be Happy. So Please Stop!

When we find ourselves stressed and tired it usually means we are trying to be all things to all people. Now is the time to stop! You can’t please everyone and if you aren’t pleasing yourself then you will be miserable and stressed.

Do you really need to do everything on your to do list? Is it really all on you, your responsibility? I’d say not. Get honest here, at least with yourself. Why do you feel you have to do, or take on, everything while letting others skate on by and skip their responsibilities? Now is the time to release some of that to do list burden if you are to create a more realistic life and a self-care plan. 

It’s all about following through with a plan.

I love to plan and I’m a planner girl at heart. So if you have decided that you are ready to create a self-care plan then it’s also time to follow through by using your diary, or planner, system.

How do you plan self-care? Well we need an action plan of manageable realistic steps.  Notice I said realistic and manageable. So don’t over schedule yourself after all your hard work of deleting from your to do list. Keep it simple. Plan only one small change at a time. Make that a habit then add the next thing you want as a healthy self-care habit.

Ask for help!

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No woman is an island. In fact I would strongly advice you make sure you create a positive support system before you start to make any changes.

My Book.

In my book, The Building Blocks Of Self-Care, I provide easy and quick strategies to get you back feeling rebalanced and more focus in your life. The book also includes all the worksheets you need to take you step by step through the process. It also goes into more detail on how you can handle negative thinking and people. You can purchase it on Amazon or through my website.