What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness Of Yourself Is At The Heart Of Serenity And Moving On With Our Lives.

Forgiveness Of Yourself Is At The Heart Of Serenity And Moving On With Our Lives.

Forgiveness is often confused with reconciliation.

Firstly it is not reconciliation as this would require at least two people to be involved and it would require a sincere apology from the other person. Secondly, forgiveness only requires you and you alone. It requires you to forgive yourself first and foremost and then the other person secondly.

Forgiveness is extremely hard to do.

Forgiveness is an extremely hard thing to do because we make it so for ourselves. We often forget to forgive ourselves and concentrate solely on the other person(s) involved. We can get hung up in our anger so much so, that we fail to move on to forgiveness at all. Why do we allow ourselves to get caught up in anger? Or depression? Or in any emotion for that matter? We have to recognise how you feel, accept them and where you are right now, before moving on. You have to ask for help if you can recognise that you are caught up in these emotions. It will take courage to ask for help, I understand that. But you will move on much faster and have support while you do it.

Serenity can be found again.

You have to ask yourself why don't I want serenity in my life?  Serenity will come when you recognize the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and you begin to forgive yourself, you don't need to forgive the other person at all to find it. You don't have to reconcile with this person, ever, to find serenity. So what's holding you back?

I know right now you may feel angry at me but hear me out.

I know many of you are going to feel angry at me for asking these questions. I would have felt the same way once upon a time. But I soon discovered that when I forgave myself I found serenity in my life, I could let go of some of the hurt. I could let go of some more of the hurt when I learnt to forgive others.

My first step in this journey was when I learnt and understood for the first time the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I knew there were people in my life I could never and should never reconcile with. (This had me hung up on being unable to forgive them.) Some had died, some would never seek forgiveness, they couldn't or wouldn't apologise for what they had done and some are too dangerous to be around. I also learnt I had to put myself on the list. I had to forgive myself for any perceived wrong or failure to act on my part when others had hurt me. I was then able to move on. Yes, I sought help to do this. I realised I needed help, I couldn't do it alone and that was okay.

I'm not saying this is easy, the place you're in right now is hard, lonely at times and very painful. But you can get through this. You can move on with your life and find forgiveness, serenity, peace and love again.

If you found any of this useful or not I'd be so grateful for a comment below. 

I want to hear from you what do you need advice and help with. You can ask me a question, suggest a blog post or if you need further help with this or anything else just ask.

Call for an appointment 089 4373641. Our offices are in Ferns 



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