Building Up Our Arsenal Of Self-Care Habits.

Over the last few weeks I have discuss introducing self-care habits for the body and mind. This week let’s talk about how we can nourish our soul. When we discuss self-care most people think about changing things up to support the body and mind. We don’t think of the soul even if you have a spiritual practice.

But we are holistic beings and need to feed the soul just as much as the body and mind. So any small habits that we can do for the soul will feed the mind and body. Just as much as habits that seemingly are directed towards the body or mind can feed all three also.

Creating New Self-Soothing Habits.

Building up an arsenal of good self-care habits that help calm or de-stress us is a must. These habits are not only good for stress management but they can self-soothe also. We use the term self-soothing as this reflects what the technique does for the body, mind and soul when we are stressed or anxious.

As children, we picked up self-soothing techniques that may have worked in the past but are no longer appropriate today. Sometimes we build in other habits that have a negative impact on us such as smoking, eating or drinking in excess. They may self-soothe us for a very short time but don’t resolve the issue or help us. Exchanging outdated self-soothing habits or bad habits for some new and more appropriate ones is far better for our overall mental and physical health.

We can see an example of this when people give up smoking. They take up an activity such as knitting to keep their hands occupied. The knitting is now the new healthier habit. It gives them something to distract themselves with, offers them something to do with their hands and helps improve concentration. If you take a class it also helps build social connection which helps with feelings of loneliness. Plus add to all that the health benefits you get from not smoking.

Try Using Your Senses.

When forming new habits it can be a good idea to engage our senses as well – touch, sound, vision, smell and taste. The use of our senses helps in two ways. Firstly, it distracts us from what is going on in our minds and body by concentrating on the sense. Secondly, if we are trying to change a bad habit for a good one it gives us something to do other than what we have gotten use to doing.

Consider Adding In A Meditation.

By using meditation it allows us to start recognizing what needs to be addressed in terms of our internal workings. In other words it allows us to connect with what we are thinking and feeling. This can help us to recognize what triggers our stress, anxiety, etc., in the first place.

Meditation also trains us to take that breath before we act. That moment of pause can help us to begin to see if there is any pattern to our thoughts and behaviours that are causing our stress and anxiety. But also to be more proactive in our choice of habits rather than reactive. Thus allowing us to pick the better habit option for our physical and mental health.

Self-Care Habits To Support The Soul.

1 Phone a friend.

It’s important we encourage the people on our positive support system to come closer to us. Remember having a laugh and a chat is important, we are naturally social creatures. We need contact with others in order to survive.

So take the time today to reach out to a positive friend, make a cup of tea/coffee, put your feet up and relax while having a chat. Remember talking to a supportive friend is a great way to relieve your stress.

2 Take A Few Deep Breaths While Waiting.

While waiting for a meeting to start, the kettle to boil or waiting in line at the checkout, take a few deep breaths. Taking a few breaths will help us to re-centre and refocus. It’s a simple way to feel calmer while on the go. You could also use the 3 minute breather from this podcast.

3 Sit Outside Or Near A Window For 15 Minutes A Day.

Take just 15 minutes to sit outside or near a large window or glass door. Now close your eyes and breathe. With each breath you take try to deepen your breathing. Release the tension on each out breath. Visualize the tension leaving your body as you breathe out.

This exercise gives you three benefits. Firstly stress reduction by deep breathing exercise. Secondly you daily dose of vitamin D and thirdly you help to improve your sleep quality also. You can also just sit and watch nature unfurl from your vantage point.

4 Focus on what you can control.

Spending too much time focusing on areas or people we cannot control is simply not good for the soul. It can be soul destroying when we do this. We give away our power so others and things outside of our control can control us.

Let’s focus on what we can control today, not on what we can’t control. Taking back control usually involves things to do with us – our mind, body and soul – not others. So what can you do right now that will help you feel more in control and empowered?

When you find yourself over thinking then use the acronym STOP:

1. Stop what you are doing.
2. Take a breath.
3. Observe what is going on with your thoughts, behaviours and emotions. Write these down and ask yourself are they helping or hindering you? Make a list of actionable steps that you can do that will help you right now.
4. Then Proceed Proactively and do one small actionable step that brings back the control to you.

Remember you can only do so much. You are not meant to be a superhero.

5 Create a vision or happy memories board.

Print off, or get out, some positive pictures of family, friends, special events, celebrations, kids, etc., and put them on a simple cork board. Then place it in the kitchen where you can see it. Or you can set it up as a screen saver.

We need a positive boost from looking back at positive memories just as much as we need to remove negative habits. It feeds the soul with positive thoughts, emotions and memories. It also helps to rewire the brain away from the negative bias if we look at it daily. You can use the same idea to create a vision boards for holidays and goals.

6 Watch how you phrase things to yourself.

How we speak to and about ourselves can have an impact on our wellbeing. Plus can make the difference between success and sabotage. By simply changing how we phrase a comment can help us change our habits, have more positive self-talk, and improve our communication skills. It ripples out from inside us into how we communicate to others.

Using phrases and compliments while talking to yourself such as not now, yet, it would be great, great job, way to go, well done. For example: Instead of saying you can’t do something just simply add the word “yet” to the end of the sentence. “I can’t do it yet”, is a far more positive phrase. We are so good at talking ourselves out of things and putting ourselves down. We can use that same self talk for something positive.  Just keep the phrases simple and positive. Then keep on saying them to yourself.

7 The Kindness Practice.

Having a regular kindness practice is seen as one of the seven habits for a more contented life. The kindness practice is made up of you completing a random act of kindness for someone else.

When we do an act of kindness for someone else we get a huge boost to our own happiness levels. It doesn’t matter the size of the act either. Something that is completed very quickly can still be felt by us weeks later. It doesn’t have to cost money either.

You can keep it simple such as a smile or hello to a stranger. Strike up a friendly positive conversation at the checkout. A note in your partner’s wallet to say you love them. A small gesture of help you get the idea. It’s also a great way to feed your soul and boost your own mood.

8 End Your Day By Reframing Your Day.

We do tend to dismiss the small things that happen. But we can use these small things to help us reframe how our day went. That way the day doesn’t seem so negative. At the end of your day write down 3 small things that went well. Bring your focus back to the things we normal brush off and reframe your day.

Examples could be: Someone let you out in busy traffic. That car parking space near the door just as it rains. Someone picked something up you dropped or picked the kids up for you when you were rushed. The washing up was done without you having to ask. You received that cup of tea or coffee you needed just then without asking for it. You get the idea.

All these small acts of kindness we receive can be written off too quickly. But they do help us to see that there are moments of positivity in our lives too. I call these magic moments because when we start to notice these they open up the other positives we have in our life too. So don’t write these off. Write them down and feed your soul.

Work With Me.

Remember you are allowed to ask for support. No one is an island. If you need extra support then you can also work with me. We all struggle with stress and overwhelm from time to time. If you find this has become a problem for you and you’d like some support then schedule an appointment with me.